Video game violence isn’t just for kids anymore
For those of you that can’t get enough of the government legislating good parenting, finally there’s some good news.
I was reading today’s “Daily Variety,” and I noticed… oh wait, for those of you who don’t know, that’s the newspaper to all of us soulless Hollywood hacks. Anyway, there was an article about video game violence. It seems that Hillary Clinton and Joe Lieberman are trying to get legislation moving that would make it illegal to sell video games rated M or AO to minors. I knew that M stands for “Mature”, but I had to look up AO to find out what it stood for. You can see for yourself here. I was wrong in my guess of “About Orgasms.”
These days, the violence portrayed in video games has become fairly realistic, at least compared to the good old days. In modern games you can take pleasure in shooting innocent bystanders, watch them writhe in agony, and then finish them off, still finding time to sleep with prostitutes. I guess the lawmakers feel that this is not something kids should be seeing as part of their play time.
Surprisingly enough, I have not gotten into these modern games. I still like the feel of plugging a cartridge into a slot, and powering up the machine, without having to wait for the thing to load. And you can still get your killing fix from the old games, so doubt I’ll ever switch to disc-based systems.
Ikari Warriors (don’t pretend you don’t know this one!) involves killing enemy soldiers by the hundreds. No matter how many you kill, they keep on coming. The real trouble is that you can’t really win the game, since you always get stuck at the end of level three. The friggin’ thing just ends, with you staring at this huge desk or something. I still want to know what the heck-fire is up with that. Castlevania has a lot of killing, mostly of ghastly monsters. Sounds to an old fart like me sort of like Doom, although it has yet to be made into a mega million-dollar movie flop. I could give further examples of many games, but I am tired and lazy. Take my word for it, there are plenty of blood filled games for the 8-bit generation.
So are these modern “ultra-realistic” games more likely to encourage violence in kids? I don’t know. I played Super Mario Bros. for hundreds of hours. And yet to this day I have never had the desire to jump on a turtle, then kick him down the street when he went into his shell.
To be honest, I agree with the law. Things for adults are for adults. Just like I think it should be illegal for a retailer to allow a minor to purchase R-rated movies. (It isn’t, by the way.) Plus, the law wouldn’t affect my enjoyment of AO fun. I am no longer a minor, so if I want, I can buy these games on my way home from the pornography store, and before my stop at the package store. (A package store is where you buy liquor; yes, I am from Massachusetts.)
Come to think of it, if the kids can’t buy stuff themselves, I bet they wouldn’t mind paying me to be their middle man. I should look into that. I’ll replace their violent video games with porn — I bet that would be okay with Hillary and Joe. Well, Hillary at least. And the parents won’t care, because they will be too busy NOT looking carefully at the games they buy for their kids this Christmas.
December 2nd, 2005 at 11:39 am
Hey Hil, Joe Joe, thanks for voting for that war thing (How’s that going by the way?). We all know that REAL violence isn’t nearly as damaging for the kids as fake violence.
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:29 pm
Anybody who believes violent video games cause violence is a douchebag. If anything, playing Grand Theft Auto has made me a better driver, and proficient in all forms of small arms.
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:32 pm
But Mark we only have real violence BECAUSE Of video games (and movies).
The war was probably because of Bush and Cheney’s unhealthy obsession with playing Contra while watching Rambo in the early-mid 80’s.
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:53 pm
When I hear/read “Proficient in…Small Arms” I can’t help but hear that with a little but of a slight lisp (not from Chris, though). And even if he doesn’t know it, subliminally he phrased it that way because of a Simpsons Episode.
December 2nd, 2005 at 1:50 pm
i have a lisp
December 2nd, 2005 at 4:20 pm
the only way in which video games made me violent is when I couldn’t solve like them, like The Adventures of Bayou Billly. I punched three holes in three separate walls because of that game.
December 2nd, 2005 at 4:41 pm
I remember I once broke my sega controller because I couldn’t stop Alexei Zhitnik (sp) in a game of NHL 94 - during a heated Barr Bash tourney game. Couldn’t even contain him.
Wait that wasn’t me.
December 2nd, 2005 at 5:55 pm
Mark i broke a controller once when i lost a game of sega’s NHL hockey…..fucking Alexander Mogilney fucked me up. Then i smashed a pool stick over a Crap filter writer…ahem.
Bayou billy was impossible, so was ninja Kid.
If there should be a beef over video games it should be the stereotypes. C’mon two Italian plasterers or painters…what were they? Super Mario and Luigi.
Ikari warriors was easy but it would never end.
December 2nd, 2005 at 5:57 pm
p.s. Andy, i’m from Massachusetts also, but i call it a packy…damn is this Michelob nice and cold.
December 3rd, 2005 at 2:00 pm
I went through several Super Nintendo controllers. Luckily they were cheap to replace, but they were also built to last. Even when they were cracked, they’d still keep playing.
August 28th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
“But Mark we only have real violence BECAUSE Of video games (and movies).”
Yeah. I’m pretty sure that WWII was all ‘cause they were playing GTA when Germany wouldn’t remove their troops from Poland.