Non-shocking divorce news about ill-conceived union
Part of me wants to say “who the fuck cares” about celebrity marriage and divorce news, but another part of me can come up with something far more clever.
In an absolutely un-stunning turn of non-events, Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are splitting up for good.
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) — Actor Charlie Sheen and actress Denise Richards have decided to get a divorce, a spokesman for Sheen said on Wednesday, thus ending a highly publicized effort at reconciliation that became fodder for television talk shows and supermarket tabloids.
Sheen spokesman Stan Rosenfield confirmed a report in People magazine on Wednesday that the couple were divorcing but declined to give any details.
Wow, you know that if the tabloids are on the case, it’s got to be big. Hell I barely heard a peep about it until the tabloids finally picked it up.
In all seriousness though, why is this a surprise to anybody? A few years back when they got married, the celebrity-watching world seemed to let out a collective “WTF?”. It’s not that she was out of his league, but more the fact that she’s not a hooker, and as far as I could tell from watching “Wild Things,” there’s absolutely no coke on her ass to snort that really confused everyone.
And thus ends another the celebrity sham marriage gone too far. I just wish that some clever young go-getter at Us Weekly had had the foresight to label the whole thing “Shrichards” or “Chanise.”
When celebrities get married, bad things happen. Just look at how “Braniston” (I just made that up) devolved into “Brangelina.” Messy, messy, messy. “TomKat” is literally (in the non-literal sense) five seconds away from exploding into an ugly mess.
But hey, that’s the breaks in Hollywood. One minute you’re on top, the next minute you’re on bottom and Charlie Sheen is snorting blow off your ass.
“Shrichards” we hardly knew ye.
January 5th, 2006 at 10:16 am
2006 is in full force, our first celebrity divorce… ringing in the new year Us Weekly style.
January 5th, 2006 at 10:38 am
This just in, Sheen and Richards are back together!
Wait, the divorce is back on. Sorry about that.
January 5th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
I’d go with Charlise. Has a smooth ring to it. That would probably doom it though, it’s not bastardized enough.
January 5th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
i’m ready for Quintalichards
January 5th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
That’s pretty bastardized. The press will eat it up.
Now you just have to make it happen dude.