Crap Filter

Super Bowl Week: Gear Up For the Game!

A mention on an episode of SportsCenter last week prompted me to look this up.

If people are being this tacky in one of the most progressive cities in the country, surely my hometown can step up to the plate. Hell, Pittsburgh created the tacky plate, plaid pattern, striped trim and all.

So, if you’re headed to the big game in Detroit, be sure to stop by eBay to pick up some of these fine wares to show your support for the black and gold! (All items found using search terms “Steelers” and “Super Bowl”)…

The intention is understood, but in execution it comes out looking like “Fiick the Steelers” or “Flick the Steelers.” I’m reminded of “…Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice.”

The only reason a Steelers fan would purchase this would be to physically deface Neil O’Donnell’s headshot. “See, son? That’s the bad man!”

I love caricatures, because they reveal so much about the world around you that may not have recognized. For example, did you know that Troy Polomalu is actually OJ Simpson in a wig?

Can we elect to have the winning team get these rings instead? Because rings for your finger are SO 1979.

If there’s one problem with football fans, it’s that they don’t properly ACCESSORIZE.

ACCESSORIZE, I SAID!

When I think of Jerome Bettis, I think: MUSTARD!!! (actually, I think ‘deli tray’ since a local supermarket chain used to have a bunch of ads with The Bus uncomfortably holding a deli tray)

Ah, yes, a Troy Polomalu makeover. That’s what the world was waiting for.

And finally…don’t buy your horseshoe from the bootleg horseshoe salesmen in the parking lot! ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

Back later with Seahawks gear!

One comment so far...

1. Crap Filter: Entertainment news, reviews and commentary » Super Bowl Week: Gear Up For The Game! Pt. 2! says:
   February 1st, 2006 at 5:02 pm

   […] Previously on CrapFilter, we (mostly) ran down stuff to prepare you for the Steel City’s 6th Super Bowl appearance. Now, presenting some lovely garbage with which to stoke the fires of competition en route to Michigan’s proud dystopia. […]