Crap Filter

Super Bowl Week: Gear Up For The Game! Pt. 2!

Previously on CrapFilter, we (mostly) ran down stuff to prepare you for the Steel City’s 6th Super Bowl appearance. Now, presenting some lovely garbage with which to stoke the fires of competition en route to Michigan’s proud dystopia.

Congrats, Seattle fans! You finally get to exact revenge on the Steelers after Franco Harris gave them everything and flopped out on you. Now, look slick as fuck in the process! (again, all items found on eBay under search terms “Seahawks” and “Super Bowl”):

The nice thing about this time of year is the market for goodwill it generates (SUCK IT, Christmas!).

Because 1987 was a good year for cardboard.

Hipster Seahawk fans, begin salivating…NOW.

Okay…STOP.

Uhm…do I get my money refunded if the Seahawks don’t win, or do I still have to get the paper?

Because you want the betting memorabilia, just not the pesky payouts.

Kelly the bartender from Under Siege 2 in my favorite team’s torn-up jersey? SOLD!

To instill in your child a lifelong fear of the Seahawks, use once daily.

And finally, since this age of eBay began, the only way to truly interpret the messages of the gods is through their greatest miracle: toast.