Doom
- Doom
- Five minutes are worth watching, otherwise just keep playing your old game...no walking mechanical spider brains here. IDDQD!
When you check out Doom on IMDb, the site automatically recommends Day of the Dead at the bottom of the page. You might think that its just a programming error, like Wal-Mart’s Planet of the Apes / Black History Month fuck up, but its not. Doom is a zombie movie, one that takes place in an underground bunker, so its completely reasonable that IMDb would suggest Day of the Dead as a similar film.
If you’ve ever actually played one of Doom’s video game incarnations however, you’re sure to be disappointed by this adaptation. There’s about as much original video game storyline in this as in Super Mario Bros. The movie instead steals from Resident Evil, and of course Cameron’s omnipresent Aliens to fill in the cookie cutter script. Gone are the Mars landscapes, open air temples, and 95% of the alien bad guys. All we get is the BFG and 5 minutes of first person action (which, admittedly, bumped my review up a star).
Though not as god-awful as Uwe Boll’s video game travesties, Doom feels like it should have the mediocre stamp of Paul W.S. Anderson. Doom has Resident Evil’s sets, Event Horizon’s slaughtered scientists, and even a little Mortal Kombat bullshit fighting thrown in at the end. They even cast a guy that looks just like Bill Duke, just to try to get us to remember better action movies.
Poor Rock (poor The Rock?). He’s certinally a capable action star. Unfortunately for him, his popularity came about 15 years too late. Hopefully Southland Tales gets him on the right track.
February 14th, 2006 at 8:42 am
alex, add me to your netflix friends, justincharlesharlan@yahoo.com…
YAY