CRASH (2004)
- Crash (2004)
- Five years later, Hollywood finally manages to rip off Magnolia with the help of the creator of Walker, Texas Ranger.
Ok, ok settle down… finally, here is the first post of my ongoing column reviewing my Netflix queue. I promise you things will get very weird as the envelopes fly back and forth from the shipping center in Flushing. However, we start with the most populist of the recently nominated films for Best Picture, Paul Haggis’ paint-by-numbers pseudo-epic, Crash.
Haggis, former writer of 80’s sitcoms and 90’s geriatric Kung-Fu westerns, took all the heavy-handedness he crammed into the last half hour of Million Dollar Baby and spreads it out over two hours. What he creates is an abundantly “important,” yet emotionally laughable rip off of Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia.
Continues after the jump »
Original British version = not funny!
Dear Crapheads, Geeks, and British humor enthusiasts,
Please don’t (cyber)stone me… but I have to say that the original version of The Office just isn’t very funny. I know, I know, it’s the original and therefore the American version is inferior in some way to it, but seriously… I have a hard time believing that the BBC version of The Office can even hold it’s on compared to the version it inspired in the states.
Now, admittedly I am basing this assessment on only two episodes, because that is all I have gotten the chance to see of the original. BBC America (sometimes carried by our local PBS station) aired several episodes over the weekend and I decided that I needed to give the show a shot. I found myself laughing out loud only once and barely chuckling at all throughout the remainder of the two episodes… in fact, at several points I felt like changing the channel to see if TBS may have been airing Friends reruns or VH1 had a Top 100 [insert anything you want here] of All-Time show on… but I decided that I needed to persevere because it would hopefully be worth it. Unfortunately, my perseverance did not pay off and I derived little to no enjoyment through my decision to stay tuned to this poor excuse for humor. Continues after the jump »
Hillbilly heroin addiction: How rude!
I admit that sometimes I do dumb shit when I get bored. I also admit that I’ve gotten drunk and chatted with other drunk friends online because I had nothing planned for the evening.
For former child stars, getting drunk just doesn’t cut it. For them, robbing a liquor store is a more appropriate way to reduce boredom. But sometimes you just don’t feel like leaving the house. So then what do you do? Why, lots and lots of meth, of course!
Former Full House star Jodi Sweetin, who’s still surprisingly hot, and apparently not missing any teeth yet, admitted today on ABC’s Good Morning America that she was a raging meth fiend for two years.
two years ago, she found herself dangerously addicted to one of the most debilitating drugs, methamphetamine. She said she was unemployed and bored and began simply by experimenting. Soon, she was using meth everyday.
The tabloid press reported a three-day bender as well as an intervention staged by her “Full House” castmates — including the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget.
I’m glad she’s apparently clean and looking for work now, but I think the real icing on the cake is the fact that it took a real-life episode of Full House to get her back on off the wagon.
Let the countdown to the inevitable Lifetime movie begin.
Super Bowl Week: Gear Up For the Game!
A mention on an episode of SportsCenter last week prompted me to look this up.
If people are being this tacky in one of the most progressive cities in the country, surely my hometown can step up to the plate. Hell, Pittsburgh created the tacky plate, plaid pattern, striped trim and all.
So, if you’re headed to the big game in Detroit, be sure to stop by eBay to pick up some of these fine wares to show your support for the black and gold! (All items found using search terms “Steelers” and “Super Bowl”)…
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New Ford vehicle
The TV commercial for Harrison Ford’s latest movie, “Firewall,” starts off like your typical action movie promo — with a blurry action montage, cheesey one-liners and an even cheesier voiceover guy — then it takes a sharp turn… in a brand new Crysler 300C.
Come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t an ad for”Firewall”; Maybe it was an ad for Crysler.
Actually, it was both. Yup, that’s right, another lame product tie-in with a movie, and this time they’re not even trying to conceal it. What a great way to take the edge off an upcoming release. Not that people have expected anything significant from Ford since he spouted “Get off my plane!” in “Air Force One.” Continues after the jump »
Keeping it real gone wrong
Dave Chappelle is set to be the guest on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” this Friday, but don’t expect Chappelle, who disappointed millions of fans by bailing from his Comedy Central hit “Chappelle’s Show,” to get the James Frey treatment from Oprah. And ironically enough, don’t expect to get the truth as to why Chappelle dropped everything.
That’s because Oprah’s image was not tarnished, thus not put in financial danger, by Chappelle’s mysterious departure. Nor did she have any stock in the show doing well, unlike with Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces,” which was named to Oprah’s Book Club.
So expect a total love fest mixed in with softballs Friday, and big ratings. Anything but the truth.
See, they do fight in Canada
Let me set the stage for you:
— Man throws food from his car.
— Disgusted biker chick picks up said food and throws it back into man’s car.
— Person takes a shitload of photos of the ugly aftermath.
Super Bowl Week: Gear Up For The Game! Pt. 2!
Previously on CrapFilter, we (mostly) ran down stuff to prepare you for the Steel City’s 6th Super Bowl appearance. Now, presenting some lovely garbage with which to stoke the fires of competition en route to Michigan’s proud dystopia.
Continues after the jump »
The ultimate tech geek gifts?
I was on FARK.com scouring for some fun and weird news and I came across Fosfor Gadgets’ Top 10 Wierdest USB Devices Ever list. I can’t help but ask, “Why oh why do some of these products exist?” Then I realized, with geeks like The Filter’s Chris Coleman, there is always a market for anything that plugs into a ‘puter.
One of the items that I think could be lots of fun is The USB Air Darts (pictured above). Though I do not work in a cubicle-type office setting, I’d imagine these could really come in handy if I did. I assume I’d be a Jim Halpert type if I were to work in that type of setting, and if there was a Dwight that I could torment with USB Air Darts, I certainly would… a bargain at only around $35, I’d pay much more because you can’t put a price on shooting darts at your co-workers with your computer. Continues after the jump »
Gorillaz to play at the Grammyz
Sometimes I like to take something awesome and then completely ruin it just for the hell of it. I love a good slice pizza, but every once in a while I’ll move the refrigerator and rub it on the floor there. That’s how I feel about Madonna accompanying Gorillaz as they open the Grammy Awards.
Madonna and the Gorillaz will perform together for the first time at the 48th Annual Grammy Awards, which will be presented Wednesday at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.
The 47-year-old pop star will sing with the Gorillaz, who will be appearing in 3-D animated color. The brainchild of Blur frontman Damon Albarn, the Gorillaz are a melding of rock and hip-hop that represents band members as cartoon alter-egos created by animator Jamie Hewlett.
At least it’ll be in color.
The Gorillaz are nominated for four awards, but there’s no word on who will be accepting for them.
