Nobody gives a shit about Pete Doherty
1. Who the fuck is Pete Doherty?
2. What the fuck is a Babyshambles?
3. Why the fuck is there a media obsession them?
These are questions I will attempt to answer.
1. Pete Doherty is a retarded hobo from England. His main hobbies are fucking up, having sunken eyes, having transparent skin, riding Kate Moss’s nearly nonexistant coattails, filling gossip pages in trashy British tabloids, getting arrested and heroin.
2. ba·by n.
A very young child; an infant.
sham·ble intr.v. sham·bled, sham·bling, sham·bles
To walk in an awkward, lazy, or unsteady manner, shuffling the feet.
I’ve got to assume that in England, “babyshambles” is a word used to describe the way babies walk. Here in the U.S. and A, we don’t use this word. It’s not a word. It’s not in dictionaries. Don’t believe the Pete Doherty media.
Babyshambles is also the name of Pete Doherty’s band. Nobody has ever heard them and nobody ever will. Web sites that serve entertainment news to the U.S. like to toss the name of his band around as if you may have heard of it. Don’t be fooled into thinking you somehow missed the Babyshambles revolution. It never happened and it never will. Pete Doherty will never be the modern Syd Barrett on heroin. Dick Cheney could shoot him in the face and you should never hear about it in the news, because he is of absolutely no consequence. That lawyer in Texas was more important and you never heard of him until he got a face full of Cheney’s shot.
3. I have absolutely no idea. Nobody cared when Kate Moss was caught on camera with a face full of nose candy, because absolutely nobody was shocked that a rail-thin and not-too-attractive model actually did coke. If you were shocked by that, get ready for this: No-name British musicians sometimes do drugs. And sometimes they make an ass of themselves. And sometimes they write incoherent bullshit on the inside of fogged up police car windshields. There’s no reason to care and make this a top story on Yahoo News. Really. That’s all.
March 10th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
OK, I’ll admit it, I’m a Pete Doherty fan. I like his old band, the Libertines, a lot. And Babyshambles has a cool tune: “Fuck Forever”
March 11th, 2006 at 5:56 am
OK, I will admit that the Libertines is a real band. However, it’s with the qualifier that any fame they may have received was not based on the fact that he is/was dating Kate Moss. At this point all he has going for him is that. It’s sad really.
March 11th, 2006 at 11:54 am
Oh, he totally became a tabloid phenomenon because he was dating Moss… no doubt. His music would never warrant this kind of attention on its own, even with the heroin. But he has found a way to stay in the press now that he’s not dating Kate anymore.
March 12th, 2006 at 11:29 am
I get the impression that he’s not really even basking in the fact that he’s constantly in the tabloids. He’s probably too strung out most of the time to even know/care.
Every story the British press writes about him is really just a chance to drop Kate Moss’s name. She probably loves the attention, because she’s another of those celebrities that Brits seem to care about for some reason.
March 13th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
I think Babyshmbles is pretty big in England actually and the Libertines were awesome. Doherty, however, not-so-much.
PS. Isn’t it the U. S. of A?
PPS. Chris, you kinda look like him.
PPPS. Oh wait, no you don’t.
PPPPS. I’ve never done a 4th PS, so, yeah…
March 14th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
Wow, and I thought girls were bad when talking about tabloid stuff.
Also, it’s U.S. and A if you ever saw Da Ali G Show.
And finally, I can only hope that, one day, my journalist career path will lead me directly to the Sun’s door.
March 15th, 2006 at 6:35 am
I need to see Da Ali G Show, I’ve only seen bit and pieces and I enjoyed every second I’ve seen. Think I’ll be hitting up Netflix.
April 17th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
LEGEND!!! BABYSHAMBLES R FUCKING SHIT AND I LOVE U FOR JOININ GME IN TELLING THE WORLD
April 17th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
legend!!! babyshambles are the worst band ever!! all of their music is total rubbish (bar fuck forever MAYBE) its all out of tune bollocks how can u call that shit music people?!?!
April 20th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
This article (or whatever it is) is hillarious. Typical america-center-of-the-universe-attitude. If you live in the US, yah, you’ve probably never hear of Babyshambles, but then again you’ve probably never heard of other big british bands either (such as Athlete, Kaiser cheifs, etc.) since the music scenes in both countries are quite distinct.
While Pete Doherty is a fuckup, to suggest he is irrelevant in the British music scene is absurd. Anyone who’s been to England in the past 2-3 years would know that. The Libertines were huge, and I find it hard to believe he still doesn’t have a following, even if his new band is below the level of the Libertines.
PS. No one cared about Kate Moss? Well, no one except all her sponsors who dropped their contracts with her!
April 20th, 2006 at 9:55 pm
jj,
I stand by what I said about Pete Doherty. He’s an absolute piece of shit. However, My real point was about the way he’s covered in the U.S. press. He makes the front page of Yahoo! consistently, as if he’s relevant. He’s not — in America.
That’s not to say that his music is bad. Since I wrote this, I’ve listened to a lot more of his stuff. What I’ve previously heard of the Libertines, I liked, and I’ve since heard more. I’ve also had the chance to listen to more Babyshambles, and they’re not bad.
Seriously, nobody gives a shit about Kate Moss. A model does blow? What are the chances? Pretty good, I’d say. It’s not a story, and it’s fucking absurd that she gets any coverage these days. Her day was 10 year ago. Any model is irrelevant these days.
But whatever you do, please don’t write me off as dismissive of the entire U.K. music scene. I may have missed Kaiser Chiefs at Live 8 (sorry, I had been drinking), but I caught them last October, and they were great. Here’s my review of their concert with Weezer and the Foo Fighters.
You’re right though, I may have passed judgment of Doherty a little too quickly, but it wasn’t his music so much as it was the U.S. media’s stupid obsession with him by proxy of Kate Moss.
April 21st, 2006 at 7:31 am
jj,
Actually Athlete and Kaiser Chiefs get radio play here and have some following. Just to let ya know.
April 28th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
babyshambles are HUGE. they aren’t known in the mainstream music scene, but BOTH Libertines and Babyshambles are adored in the indie rock scene. everyone knows who pete doherty is, in our world, but we love him for his music. it bothers me to see shit written about him and him being named in tabloids as ‘kate moss’ boyfriend’. please.
he’s the one with the talent, creativity, and charisma. what has she done? other than breathed on two songs (primal scream and babyshambles) and looked pretty for pictures? nothing.
pete has a american fans. they are just the indie scenester ones.
May 11th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
too right babyshambles are huge in the indie rock scene over here in the u.k. pete is a genius his songwriting is brilliant,the libs were awesome and babyshambles are great. Pete is a talent and yeah he might be on drugs but thats not for any of us to judge. if u all hate him so much why bother to talk about him. Doherty will be remembered forever. By the way Dirty pretty things are awesome get the album or catch them live and i hope the u.s is ready for the arctic monkeys!
May 17th, 2006 at 10:42 am
Oh My.. You heartless wanker…
You cannot judge someone you do not know the first thing about… You are using petty insults and i find it discusting…
Peter Doherty is a poetic and musical genius, adored by many… And Babysham is a type of wine…. “I’ve got to assume that in England, “babyshambles” is a word used to describe the way babies walk”… Haha… Oh dear!!!… Your asumtions are very wrong my friend..
Having sunken eyes… Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound,? What a great reason to dislike and slag someone off, because they have sunken eyes.. That is so low..
And why the hell would he want to be Syd Barrat.. He is Pete doherty, no one else.. Your agument is full of flaws, trashy, and extremely childish
Why the hell do you dislike him with such passion? What the fuck did he do to you?
His lyrics are full of passion and soul, he is true to himself. He also has a drug adiction, maybe thats why you dispise him.. If so, once again, that is a truely pathetic reason for hatred!?
You seem to have a strong sense of patriotism… or perhaps its merely zenaphobia. As you refer alot to Britain. and THE mighty US of fucking A!!
August 15th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
how can some yank slag off our pete because he`s fed up reading about him? fact is the guys fuckin class,yes he has his drug demons but hopefully not for much longer.the libs were the best thing since oasis n that was mostly down to pete.who else could write songs like cant stand me, time 4 heroes,albion,and fuck forever?petes not pretending or trying to be anythin other than what he is. give us some more classics mr doherty n show the fuckers what your made of.