Crap Filter

The MOTHER of all Lost Season 2 finale reviews

Satisfied?

I am. I didn’t find the finale OVERwhelming, but it was far from UNDERwhelming like last year’s cliffhanger. I thought it was nearly perfect. There was so much going on it’s still sinking in for me, but I’ll try to get through everything as quickly as possible and then on to the big talking points. Spoilers ahead! Continues after the jump »

Last-minute Lost finale speculation

I was told that in a television commercial for the finale, Jack demands that Michael tell “them” (who’s them?) what he did. I have to believe that if Michael’s secret gets out, he will no longer be trusted or accepted by the Camp. I see him choosing to be with Walt, who will remain with the Others, over a rescue mission that will lead him back to the Camp where they will be outcasts. I don’t think Michael and Walt will be completely phased out of the show, but they may serve as examples of how the Others recruit their members.

Last week I made a guess about a surprise death, boldly stating that Hurley could be on the chopping block. I’ve decided to add another name – Charlie – to the very same block. Redemption is a huge theme of ‘Lost’ and Charlie has certainly come full circle this season. He’s fought off the temptations of the heroin again and again, rediscovered religion, and made peace with Claire after their relationship deteriorated for the better part of this year.

Again, I need to clarify. I like Charlie and Hurley both as characters. Obviously, the guy that plays Charlie is somewhat famous for his role in the Lord of the Rings series, so I don’t know that they’d axe him. I’m just speculating – IF there was going to be a surprise demise, it could be one of those two.

Just about 6 hours to go. I’ll catch up with everyone tomorrow once it’s all sunk in.

Lost: Eko and Locke take a trip

Eko and Locke take a tour of the island, and discover even more of its secrets.

This review is pretty heavy on the summary, but I’ve put together a few pretty good observations. We’ve got pictures aplenty for your forensic pleasure. The usual spoiler disclaimers apply, so if you haven’t seen it yet, I’d stay away. Otherwise, dig in! Continues after the jump »

Hanso Foundation strikes back at ‘Bad Twin’

The Hanso Foundation, the organization behind the mysterious Dharma Initiative, has issued an ad in major newspapers, including The Philadelphia Inquirer, attacking the new book “Bad Twin,” by author Gary Troup, who has not been seen since Oceanic Airlines flight 815 disappeared over the South Pacific en route from Sydney to Los Angeles.

The organization claims that “Bad Twin” is filled with misinformation regarding Hanso and its partners. For more information on The Hanso Foundation, visit their Web site. Hyperion has more information on “Bad Twin.”

Michael returns with a bang to ‘Lost’

Wes is off this week for finals, so I’ll be filling in. If you haven’t watched this episode yet, and don’t want it to be ruined, just stop reading. Any complaints about how now the episode is ruined for you will only serve to get you mocked. With that said, here we go… Continues after the jump »

When Bernard met Rose

S.O.S. - 2.19
Rose-Bernard Centric

Rose and Bernard got their moment in the sun with a backstory revealing how they came together, Rose’s bad timing, and how they ended up on Oceanic Flight 815. And it was okay. Review! Continues after the jump »

Hurley loses his mind

2.18. - Dave
Hurley-Centric

Why are the cute ones always so crazy?

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a Hurley episode, and it’s been longer still since we first found out he was in a mental institution. A lot of Hurley information was finally revealed in this episode, along with some new bits egarding “Henry” and the hatch. But first, review! Continues after the jump »

Lost: Season 2, Episode 17 review

Fool me once, Henry Gale, shame on you…

Fool me twice and Sayid is going to drop the Iraqi Hammer on that ass! Review! Continues after the jump »

Your cable TV just got a little more obsolete

Apple has been adding new TV shows to the iTunes Music Store like crazy these days, and some of the best content has been coming from Comedy Central. TUAW spotted The Showbiz Show, which joins a whole bunch of other stuff like Comedy Central Stand-Up, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, South Park, Drawn Together, and a ton of other stuff. The season/monthly passes are a good idea, if you really need to see only one or two shows, because after that, you’re throwing your money away, since cable isn’t that expensive.

There’s some more Disney/ABC content up now too, including long-overdue season passes for Desperate Housewives and Lost.

Geeks’ paradise

Ricky Gervais’ much-anticipated episode of “The Simpsons” airs tonight on FOX at 8 p.m. “The Office” creator wrote the show, and also stars in it as Charles, a man who engages in a reality TV-style wife swap with Homer.

If Gervais wasn’t the scribe behind this show, I might have found myself watching Dickie V scream about the Final Four tonight, as I find this “Simpsons” premise to be a bit tired. Then again, the premises are never what make “The Simpsons” funny — it’s more the situations, characters, dialogue and one-liners like, “Don’t have a cow, man.”

UPDATE: Eh.

I loved the plasma high definition screen party at Lenny’s pad (and Homer’s ensuing infatuation), but overall the episode was a bit disappointing. Gervais just seemed to resurrect David Brent with his character.

Lost: Season 2, Episode 16

I waited three weeks for that?

Okay, so Lost wasn’t exactly up to par last night, but next week looks sweet. And with any luck the week after that will be sweet, then we’ll only have to suffer through one more break before a season-ending string of weekly episodes to carry us into the summer break. Continues after the jump »

The latest from Lost

Wes has taken over the “Lost” duties around here, but he’s busy with law school or some crap, so I’m going to post a few thoughts and ruminations about the latest happenings on the island. Continues after the jump »

New Lennon show promises to make you stupider

Here’s the setup: Some TV producers (not at Fox, if you can believe that) have a bright idea to make a show about John Lennon.

Last week, the producers of a profitable but failed 2003 attempt to contact the late Princess Diana, announced plans to shoot a new pay-per-view seance to contact Lennon, who was murdered over 25 years ago by Mark David Chapman outside Manhattan’s Dakota apartment building where he lived.

Wow, what a bummer that they couldn’t get a hold of Pricess Diana. I guess she was busy that day. Dead princesses still have busy schedules, you know.

The show will culminate as psychics, colleagues and confidantes sit at a seance table for 30 minutes surrounded by infra-red cameras that can capture any “presence” or spirit that enters the room.

Ooh! This sounds like science. This way, if John Lennon really does drop by, or if somebody turns up the heat in the room, the viewing public will know!

I know there’s a lot of people out there with money that they’re just dying to throw away. If you think you might be one of them, please, I implore you, send your money to me instead.

American Inventor

If “American Idol” is a little too beat for your taste, but you still yearn to see dreams crushed, “American Inventor” may be the show you’ve been waiting for. It’s on ABC, so naturally they have to sap it up a bit. During the two-hour show, they constantly pumped you up for the sure to be uplifting heartbreaking appearance from a 12-year-old kid. The entire show was packed full of emotions — everything from sad to… angry. Ok, so there were two emotions.

The basic premise of the show is exactly the same as “Idol.” Hundreds of people — some very talented, some just drooling morons looking to get on TV, and some very untalented — line up and wait to be judged by a panel of experts. Just replace bad singing with bad inventions and good singing with “why hasn’t anybody thought of this yet?” and you’ve got your show.

Some of the inventions were actually pretty nice. My favorite would have to be the sandbag shovel, because it’s probably the one thing I’m surprised doesn’t already exist in some form.

Check out the MAKE Blog for a full recap of the show, with lots of pictures of insane people and their inventions. You can catch the next tear-jerker episode on Thursday.

I feel obliged to write about ‘American Idol’

I’m pretty sure I’ve refrained from writing anything about “American Idol” up until this point, mostly because I haven’t watched it in two years. I was too crushed after George Huff’s loss to watch any more. This year’s competition is just getting out of the boring few weeks between the auditions where people with no talent intentionally embarass themselves just to get on TV and the finals, where people with actual talent sing tired love songs.

The first victim of Simon Cowell’s increasingly banal rejection speeches was 21-year-old Melissa McGhee, who forgot the words to the song she was singing on Tuesday night’s competition.

Don’t worry about missing out, because in true Fox fashion, they’re going to stretch this out until May 24. It’s just starting to get good.

Catching Up on Last Week

This week’s mailings included Takeshi Kitano’s Brother, Visconti’s The Leopard, and the final discs of Nip/Tuck Season 2.

Brother is Takeshi Kitano’s last, though probably not final, gangster pic. As always he writes, directs, and stars. This time he plays a laconic lone wolf Yakuza (hard to believe, but true). The twist is that it takes place mostly in LA. After his gang in Tokyo is decimated, Kitano relocates to the US to reconnect with his younger brother, now a small time drug pusher. In a matter of weeks, the trigger happy Kitano takes over a good chunk of LA. He also becomes blood brothers with Omar Epps, learns a few words in English, and ventilates dozens of mobsters. Things end typically for a Kitano movie, but he’s definitely upped the entertainment factor with this one. Films like Sonatine and Hana-bi are deeper, but there’s no denying the joy of seeing Epps and Kitano fuck with a old Mafia boss. One warning, the US version has been trimmed to remove some bloody effects. Thanks MPAA for keeping the art house safe for kids. 4 out of 5

Continues after the jump »

WTF was that poem on ‘The Sopranos’?

Though my father and brother tried their hardest to spoil the first episode of Season 6 of “The Sopranos” through an email discussion, I was able to thwart their attempts with sheer will. Now that I’m all caught up, I don’t think it would have mattered if I read their e-conversation. If anything, it might have made me overanalyze it and confused the hell out of me.

A lot of cool stuff went down in the Season 6 premiere though, of which I won’t go into detail to spare those who are behind. But I do want to highlight the opening scenes (after the “Woke up this morning” jazz), which my brother informed me was a piece from late author William S. Burroughs referencing the “Seven Souls.” A discussion of the use of the passage can be found in the Tampa Tribune. Continues after the jump »

The Whammies Finally Got Him

Unfortunately, more news of the depressing kind, as Peter Tomarken was killed in a plane crash yesterday in Santa Monica. Tomarken was best known as host of the immortal PRESS YOUR LUCK, one of the most recognized game shows of the 80’s.

Tomarken was in my opinion, a very underrated game show host. I thought that PRESS YOUR LUCK was a lot of fun, and he added to that. As a kid, I couldn’t resist those cute cartoon whammies. Of course the fact that there was a lot of luck involved made it appealing, as skill or knowledge only played a partial role in the success of a contestant. Tomarken got to be part of one of the most famous game show incidents of all time, when Michael Larson hustled the show for thousands of dollars. Also, check out the whole of the Classic Press Your Luck Homepage. It is very well socked with fun stuff.

Melodious Mistake

Last night’s Oscar telecast introduced a new twist to the evening, one that was not welcome by most. This year, music was played in the background, while the winners provided their acceptance speeches. The Hollywood Reporter’s Ray Richmond commented today, “not only was this monumentally distracting, it was also supremely disrespectful – rather akin to being played offstage from the moment you get there.” Richmond has a point, although it seemed strange to me that the cue to exit the stage would be music, when music is already playing. According to a source I spoke to at Capitol Studios, the music was only for the home television audience, and not played in the Kodak Theater. Either way, this is one feature that future telecasts should do without. This should join the other departed “innovations” of years past that have been abandoned, like the “Matrix” style camera movements used for pro football, or unbiased truth in Fox News reporting.

Lost Season 2, Episode 15 in-depth review

Episode 15: Maternity Leave

In a very Claire-centric episode, we find out that there may be more to The Others than meets the eye.

Hey readers, say hello to new contributor Wes Bain!

Massive spoliers follow, so if you haven’t seen the episode yet, you might want to come back later once you’ve seen it. Unless, of course, that’s why you’re reading.

— Chris

After a somewhat slow start to the first half of Season 2, the powers-that-be who govern Lost have finally given us something to cheer about. Continues after the jump »

‘Arrested’ released to Showtime

The New York Post is reporting that Showtime has picked up “Arrested Development,” which had been canceled by Fox, and ordered 26 more episodes.

OK, this show is great and all, might be the best on TV, blah, blah, blah, but I wonder if it can hold up under the weight of expectations of sustained excellence and the hype that has come with this media onslaught. To be honest, I think I’ve been fed all the “Arrested Development” I need, as well as all the “‘Arrested Development’ needs to be saved” stories I can bear. I like the run it had. I like where they left off. It didn’t become too stale.

That being said, I’m not about to argue against more episodes, thus more GOB.

But I’m not about to order Showtime either.

Crap Filter coming at you from NY Comic-Con!

Just a little heads up to our faithful readers that Crap Filter will be reporting from Comic-Con this weekend at the Javits Center in the Big Apple. What info will we uncover? Who will we meet? What free crap will we be guilted into taking? Stay tuned to find the answers to these and other pressing questions, because we’re assuming that inquiring minds probably want to know.

‘Show Me’ some news from two weeks ago

So the AP has picked up a story from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch about The Daily Show’s interview with Missouri Governor Rod Blagojevich interview with the show from two weeks ago.

I didn’t catch it myself, but apparently Blagojevich is the only person alive that is still unaware of the fact that The Daily Show is a comedy show and ostensibly one of the biggest cultural phenomena in the past decade. I can see how it would be easy to miss.

Blagojevich got a basic Daily Show interview, but since he was so blissfully ignorant of what the show actually is, he got all flustered during the piece. And this is news. Did I mention that the segment ran two weeks ago?

At one point in the interview, a startled Blagojevich looked to someone off camera and said, “Is he teasing me, or is that legit?”

The segment, which aired two weeks ago, also featured Illinois Republican Rep. Ron Stephens, a pharmacist who opposes the governor’s rule. Stephens has said he knew the show was a comedy.

“I thought the governor was hip enough that he would have known that, too,” Stephens said.

It’s not a matter of being hip. It’s a matter of being alive. It’s hard to believe that the governor of the “Show Me State” somehow managed to miss this. Maybe he was born somewhere else.

Loony Tunes in Power

We all know China is a bastion of human rights violations and government control. Political dissidents are routinely jailed, and even the Internet is heavily censored. (which means Crapfilter might not work there…those bastards!) But those things seem unimportant now, as it has come to light that Chinese citizens can’t even get their Jessica Rabbit fix!

According to an article in today’s Daily Variety by Steven Schwankert, the Chinese Government has decided that films and TV shows that portray humans interacting with animated characters are forbidden. Movies like “Space Jam” and “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” are apparently dangerous for the Chinese public. Some claim this is a move to bolster domestic animation production. If that is true, one would think they would just ban all foreign animation, rather than isolating human/cartoon interaction. Are movies like “Mary Poppins” known to encourage dissent? This government also banned the film “Babe”, because talking animals were thought to be confusing to viewers. Way to go China. Hey international community, let’s all reward this government for their lunacy by giving them the Olympic games. Oh wait…

Let us not forget that the U.S. states that voted for the government in power now (the one that likes domestic wire-tapping sans warrants) are referred to as “red” states. Just a reminder.

Good idea for a lazy sunday

Kind of weird that a show like “Saturday Night Live” even shows shorts, because, let’s face it, they aren’t exactly live. Still, they end up being better than the studio sketches most of time (especially nowadays), so I’m not complaining.

If anything, I want more, but more of the totally random ones I remember from the Will Ferrell era, like when a dog comes to his house to chase him around, or when he plays Glen Frey and he and Ben Stiller have a love affair. I was also a big fan of the short in which Steve Buscemi and Horatio Sanz run a pawn shop full of food. Am I the only one that remembers these? If not, please tell me how I can see them again because E! has apparently deleted them from their existence (We do get timeless performances by Shaggy and Ricky Martin though!).

Hold on, I just found the Frey short.

Of course, there are the obvious shorts that are outstanding, like pretty much anything from the “TV Funhouse” series and “Lazy Sunday.” But I’m sure there are some great ones that time forgot. That is why I plan on checking out a 90-minute compilation of some of the best at the Museum of Television and Radio in L.A. and New York. The screening is called “From Albert Brooks to the TV Funhouse” and runs through April 30.

NBC Blows Goats…I Have Proof

We all know the NBC telecasts of the Olympics are an over-produced, tape-delayed monster. NBC shows the sports in prime time, when most viewers are available to watch. In addition, the time difference between the United States and Italy is a convenient excuse for such coverage. And while this annoying trend has been going on without much incident for these games, today it hit a snag for me. The Gold Medal Women’s Hockey game between Canada and Sweden had been said multiple times today, to be “coming up, live”. Much to my dismay, I discovered online that the event was NOT live, and had already happened. I called my East Coast source, and learned that the game had been on TV there, but hours earlier. So perhaps it was live for the east coast audience, and now us out west hear are just getting the 3 hour delayed version.

Okay, I get it. I live in LA, and this happens all the time. Obviously, Saturday Night Live is not technically “live” for the Pacific Coast audience. But for some reason today this really got me thinking about my disdain for NBC. Once they were the pinnacle of sports broadcasting (think around 1994ish), and now they make me want to punch someone in the face. NBC’s annoying “athlete profiles” have been used less in these games, but today made me angry again. It brought me back to 1996, when the Women’s gymnastics finals were delayed, even though they were in the bloody USA. I unintentionally heard the results before they were broadcast on NBC. Kerri Strug’s leg ripping vault should have been an amazing sports moment. Instead, it was an inevitable bore.

I love the Olympics, I want to watch. But NBC is driving me away, much like John Madden drives me away from football when he covers it. In a perfect world, a sporting event could be, like most news events, covered by many networks, and then we would see in the ratings which coverage was preferred by audiences. As the system is now, monopolies of coverage are hard to judge. If NBC is the only one showing the games, and American Idol beats them, how is this explained? Does this mean that people prefer singing to skating? Or, like in my case, are people fed up with the patronizing NBC style, and simply want to tune away from the annoying robot that is Bob Costas? There is no good way to answer this. I am jealous of residents of places like Buffalo, where they can snag the Canadian coverage as well. I guess folks in Vancouver got to the see Gold medal game 3 hours before the Americans in Seattle, who live behind NBC’s iron curtain.

Nip/Tuck Season 2, Disc 2

Nip/Tuck Season 2, Disc 2

Secrets from as far back as last season are finally revealed in this block of episodes centered around fatherhood.

Christian fights for his adopted son and Sean has a near-death experience which prolongs his neverending midlife crisis in this block of three episodes. Meanwhile, Julia finally releases the secret she’s been holding onto for 17 years, and Matt gets a life coach (Famke Janssen). Spoilers after the jump.

Continues after the jump »

Development, Arrested

Hey all, just a quick reminder that one of the great reasons to watch TV is (temporarily?) shifting off this mortal transistor coil tonight.

GOOD NEWS: Two hours of Arrested Development.
BAD NEWS: They’re the last two hours of Arrested Development.
Continues after the jump »

Super domes

Bald dudes have been kicking some serious ass lately.

If you watched “The Daily Show” last night, you might have noticed shiny-topped Rob Corddry, typically the best correspondent on the show, filling in for host Jon Stewart. Stewart is great and all with his clever wit and sarcasm, but the weird thing is Corddry was a breath of fresh air to a show getting a tad bit stale, even if his Hitler-Anne Frank joke went over like Danish cartoons in the Muslim world and his Will Arnette interview was way too buddy-buddy (they do get points from mentioning the Burlington Mall though).

Now comes news that Corddry has landed the title role in Fox’s pilot “Becoming Glen,” which is described by the Hollywood Reporter like this:

“Becoming Glen” centers on a successful fortysomething man who looks back at 1994, when he was a 32-year-old slacker (Corddry) living with his parents and spending all his time lying on the couch watching TV.

OK, a little “Get A Life,” but still, Corddry’s involved. Continues after the jump »

Chappelle keeps quiet about disappearing act

Who wouldn’t want to know what’s up with Dave Chappelle? Well, James Lipton for one. The bafflingly old Lipton and Chappelle play a two-hour game of softball on the latest installment of “Inside the Actors Studio.”

The Hollywood Reporter has slightly more:

Why did Chappelle hightail it to Africa? He said it’s because the Hollywood environment is “a little sick,” and the more successful he became, the less he enjoyed it. In Africa, he said, he found anonymity, reassessed his career and thought about not coming back.

What made Chappelle decide to return? What’s he doing differently now? How did he resolve things with Comedy Central? You won’t find out by watching, but you will learn how much the comedian admired Bugs Bunny.

Ground breaking stuff. Catch it Sunday at 9 on Bravo.

Was that a real Madonna with Gorillaz?

I didn’t bother to watch all of the Grammy Awards last night, but I did catch the first half hour or so. The Gorillaz “performance” was a pretty neat trick, and I’m willing to bet that the illusion seemed more realistic to people watching in the audience from a fixed perspective, rather than the moving shots we got on TV.

Madonna’s performance was actually impressive too. The choreography was good and it seemed like she was really singing, which is a nice little touch, seeing as how awards shows are notorious for lip-syncing.

The part of the performance where Gorillaz and Madonna overlapped was a little suspicious, however. I wasn’t sure if that was her, carefully interacting with the animated characters from behind the screen or if it was a computer-generated material girl. Well, I did thirty seconds worth of sleuthing, and I’m convinved that Madonna was computer generated as well.

At first I just noticed that the computerized Madonna didn’t have the knee-length fishnets compressing those 47-year-old thighs, but when you look at the two side-by-side, there are a lot of details that don’t match. I don’t think I uncovered some great conspiracy, but for those of you who might have been wondering, here’s your proof. The animated Madonna was still pretty impressive.

Tonight’s painful TV decision

I present to you three choices. As is the case on every fifth Wednesday or so, there are new episodes of Lost and Invasion on ABC tonight. Both shows got off to a slow start, but they’ve been fairly good the last few weeks. Normally, I’d say they’re both a solid bet.

Complicating things is the Grammy Awards. Normally this is garbage. I doubt this year will be much different. The only thing that makes it worth it is that there’s a slight chance that reclusive funk pioneer Sly Stone may show up, and possibly perform. Other than that a Gorillaz performance to be ruined by with Madonna and an obligatory, probably all-star, tribute to the music of New Orleans will be the only things worth seeing.

Further complicating things is the fact that Larry King has Jodie Sweetin on to talk about her meth addiction. I wouldn’t consider tuning in except for the fact that she aged well and managed to hang on to all of her teeth. Joining her will be the “men” of “Full House,” John Stamos, Bob Saget and Dave Coulier.

Choose wisely.

Nip/Tuck - Season 2 Disc 1

Nip/Tuck Season 1 Disc 2

Season 2 continues with Drs. Troy and McNamara turning 40. Don't worry, there's still plenty of blood and sex.

Before we get started, let’s get something out of the way first. I will not be checking the comments for this piece. Paranoia has gripped me since I saw the first episode of Nip/Tuck about two months ago —- I must not find out who The Carver is. I gotta make it all the way to the end of season 3 without seeing any spoilers, so talkbacks are a definite no-no.

Continues after the jump »

‘Sopranos’ Season 6 snitching

HBO came out with the first official overview of the plot for Season Six of “The Sopranos,” which begins March 12, and an article in the New York Post has the tease.

“New challenges abound for Tony Soprano as his life grows increasingly complicated,” a release announcing the show’s sixth season stated. “Now that he and Carmela are back together, they must face the reality that their kids are no longer children, but not yet grown. And with [New York mob boss] Johnny Sack in prison, the always-tense relations between the New Jersey and New York families are strained even further.”

Yawn.

Hey, Boston Herald, do you have anything else for me, possibly involving the Boston Celtics somehow?

Our well-placed rats report that one of the show’s “big characters” is going to get whacked in Boston — known on the hit HBO mob drama as “Scranton with clams.” The hit goes down during “The Sopranos” sixth season, which debuts March 12.

Oh, but wait. There’s more.

Continues after the jump »

Conan…in the beginning!

Because you like your late night hosts young and insecure, a poster on A Special Thing has uploaded the very first episode of Late Night with Conan O’Brien on YouTube.

See:
-Conan fidget nervously with his hair!
-Max Weinberg looking 60 years younger!
-Jokes that would get applause breaks in today’s comedy climate fall on silence from a crowd not ready for what they received!
-ANDY! ANDY! ANDY!

Go watch it on YouTube.

(Thanks to The Apiary and A Special Thing.)

Revisiting “The Office”

It’s gonna happen. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant will break down and write an episode for the American version of “The Office,” according to various reports.

It should be interesting to see how American wankers react if just one British term is uttered, or if one joke that doesn’t involve a slapstick gag is used.

No word yet on whether Gervais or Merchant will appear in the episode, but it has to happen in some capacity, right? Michael Scott has to meet up with David Brent. I mean, Jason has already met Freddy and Alien has faced Predator.

Bad Tasting Beer Produces Ad in Bad Taste

Of course no one is reading this site right now; they are all watching the Superbowl. And thus they probably just saw the new Bud Light commercial. In said commercial, a grizzly bear is chasing two men through the woods. One man offers the bear a Bud Light, which the bear seems to like. But before the bear can accept the gift, the other man steals the beer, leaving his friend to certain doom.

It was immediately apparent that the producers of this commercial chose an actor that bears (no pun intended) a striking resemblance to Timothy Treadwell. Treadwell was killed by a grizzly in October of 2003. He was the subject of the recent film GRIZZLY MAN.

There is no way Bud Light can claim that they had no idea about this resemblance. So logically, they must have planned it this way on purpose. I am going to say flat out that this is not a funny choice. This man was eaten by bears, and the implied joke is that maybe a Bud Light could have saved him? And for those who say that this is all in good fun, I suggest you watch the film GRIZZLEY MAN before making such an assertion.

If you have a soul, you can voice displeasure to Anheuser-Busch here. And don’t forget to tell them that the ad also simply wasn’t funny. As Terry Bradshaw would say, “Not funny not funny not fun-nay!”

UPDATE: Here is a link so you can watch the commercial for yourself.

‘Office’ Filter

OK, I’m officially getting nervous about some of the choices Ricky Gervais is making since “The Office” closed shop, starting with his new, mediocre series “Extras,” which I’ve barely even thought about after watching the first season, and now the news that he’s joining the cast of the “Night At The Museum.”

Empire magazine has the details:

Paying [Ben] Stiller back for his appearance on Extras, Gervais will fill a small role as an uptight museum director in the film which sees Stiller’s night watchman unleash an ancient curse.

Already hired are Robin Williams, Carla Gugino, Kim Raver, Mickey Rooney, Dick Van Dyke and Bill Cobbs.

Continues after the jump »

Keeping it real gone wrong

Dave Chappelle is set to be the guest on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” this Friday, but don’t expect Chappelle, who disappointed millions of fans by bailing from his Comedy Central hit “Chappelle’s Show,” to get the James Frey treatment from Oprah. And ironically enough, don’t expect to get the truth as to why Chappelle dropped everything.

That’s because Oprah’s image was not tarnished, thus not put in financial danger, by Chappelle’s mysterious departure. Nor did she have any stock in the show doing well, unlike with Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces,” which was named to Oprah’s Book Club.

So expect a total love fest mixed in with softballs Friday, and big ratings. Anything but the truth.

Original British version = not funny!

Dear Crapheads, Geeks, and British humor enthusiasts,

Please don’t (cyber)stone me… but I have to say that the original version of The Office just isn’t very funny. I know, I know, it’s the original and therefore the American version is inferior in some way to it, but seriously… I have a hard time believing that the BBC version of The Office can even hold it’s on compared to the version it inspired in the states.

Now, admittedly I am basing this assessment on only two episodes, because that is all I have gotten the chance to see of the original. BBC America (sometimes carried by our local PBS station) aired several episodes over the weekend and I decided that I needed to give the show a shot. I found myself laughing out loud only once and barely chuckling at all throughout the remainder of the two episodes… in fact, at several points I felt like changing the channel to see if TBS may have been airing Friends reruns or VH1 had a Top 100 [insert anything you want here] of All-Time show on… but I decided that I needed to persevere because it would hopefully be worth it. Unfortunately, my perseverance did not pay off and I derived little to no enjoyment through my decision to stay tuned to this poor excuse for humor. Continues after the jump »

The magical world of ‘Variety’

One of the daily duties of running a top-notch entertainment site (I’m laughing a little bit too) is scouring the Web, looking for the best and worst of what’s out there. Basically, we have to find it before we can filter it. Sounds easy enough, right? Not so fast.

Third-grade grammar and spelling is rampant on the web as it is, and having to decipher pages full of “lololz ur 2 funE” is never as much fun as it sounds. So why would any professional organization intentionally make it worse? That’s a question I’m forced to ask myself every time I visit Variety.com..

For those unfamiliar with Variety, they use a seemingly arbitrarily made-up vocabulary of “slanguage.” which is pretty much just slang that they’re really rigid about using. Some of it makes sense, but most if it just seems unnecessary. “Preem” is a perfectly reasonable abbreviation for “premiere,” but in your head, you’re going to take longer to read it as your brain processes it and translates it. Imagine a trade publication about the pizza industry referring to pizza as “‘za” on every reference. It would be annoying — just like reading Variety. Continues after the jump »

Temper your excitement

Jeff Garlin is getting his own show and I don’t know what to think. On the one hand, he plays the best character in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” not named Larry David, but I just can’t see him being more than a supporting guy.

And I’m also not a fan of variety shows. Neither is America for that matter.

Garlin will shoot a pilot of a variety show, aptly titled “The Jeff Garlin Program,” that harkens back to the “Jack Benny” show of old-time TV. Like that classic, “Garlin” will have a show-within-a-show concept that follows the on-camera and off-camera exploits of a slightly exaggerated version of its star.

“I play Jeff Garlin, the biggest variety star on television, and pretty much the show follows me getting into trouble each week,” Garlin told industry trade Daily Variety. “This is the show I’ve wanted to do since I was little.”

Hmmm, kind of sounds like “The Larry Sanders Show” if you ask me, unless they try to make this totally surreal, whereas “Larry Sanders” was going more for reality.

And does Jeff have Tony Danza Disease? Can he only be referred to by his real first name in anything he does?

The PopoZao challenge

OK, so you’ve got two choices: you can either watch an MTV News clip of Kevin Federline jamming out to his new single PopoZao (which has surprising been reviewed as “incredibly horrible”), or you can watch a video of from “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” with James Lipton of “Inside the Actor’s Sutdio” reciting the lyrics.

Choose wisely.

The Lazy Days

The watering down continues. As was the case in the past, Sportscenter anchors Neil Everett and Scott van Pelt are helping to drive what is a proud piece of high quality entertainment into repetition hell. On the Sportscenter airing on January 25, 2006, they used yet another line from the now infamous* Lazy Sunday sketch, saying something to the effect of “Google maps is the best”, “True dat”, “Double true!” In this case (unlike before) they both were involved in the quoting.

At this rate, we are going to doom the Lonely Island boys to never be able to live up to their breakout hit. Their Young Chuck Norris sketch was not bad, but already some are complaining about it being a let down. Of course it isn’t as great as the first, but that’s okay. If we were not grinding Lazy Sunday into pop culture overexposure, we wouldn’t have unreasonably high expectations. I am of course, guilty of talking about Lazy Sunday too much myself (since I do love it), but I am above reproach on basically anything.

* When I say infamous, I of course mean it in the way that El Guapo was infamous. (He’s so famous that he’s IN-famous!)

Dr. Pepper + Twizzlers = Not As Good

It never ends, does it? The progression of Lazy Sunday is not stopping. The uber-popular SNL sketch has reached critical mass. Now there is a new rap sketch circulating the web that totes the virtues of chillin’ on the west coast. It is not really a copycat, since they clearly state they are responding to the Naria rap. This is more like saying, “Yeah, you rap in NYC, well, we gots that in LA too dawg.” A cute idea, although a little bit of a misfire.

So what are we to make of this? Certainly in terms of quality, this is no Lazy Sunday. It is cute to see my LA landmarks and such (I adore Color Me Mine), but the comedy is not as fresh, and the rap is weaker. It falls far short of its predecessor. The more disturbing question is why is Mark Feuerstein making a video like this? He is not on SNL, and he is not an unknown/up and comer looking to break in. So is this what his career is now? Is he reduced to praying for T-shirt sales, since “Good Morning Miami” was axed, and his scenes from “Two Weeks Notice” were left on the cutting room floor?

Check this sketch out for yourself and decide which coast you like better. Despite the worse rapping, LA’s gots the bomb weather yo!

UPDATE!!-Here’s another new vid called Lazy Monday, this time performed by some cute little kiddies.

The CW rises

According to a press release coming out today, the WB and UPN television networks are going to cease to exist. In their place, CBS and Warner Bros. are announcing the advent of a “5th Network”, to be called the CW.

While the WB has improved over the years, I have just gotten used to bashing UPN! Now I have to learn new jumbles of letters to represent the crappiest of television programming! And how is the the “5th Network”? It is like they are admitting that the WB and UPN are so disrespected now that they are not even considered network television.

(Sigh) I am going to miss those UPN Girls…

Could Jobs be the next CEO of Disney?

Steve Jobs wants your soul. Trust me, he’ll do better things with it than you ever will. And he’ll do better things with Disney’s joke of an animation studio than they have in the last decade.

The man who co-founded and runs Apple and owns more than half of Pixar is set to become the largest shareholder of Disney. I haven’t done any math on this, but I’ve got to assume that this deal won’t make him the majority shareholder, so while he won’t technically “own” Disney, he’ll still be the 800 pound gorilla of the Disney board.

Published reports said Disney’s board discussed the negotiations Monday and gave chief executive Bob Iger authority to complete a deal. The company could announce as early as Tuesday that it will acquire Pixar in a stock transaction, according to reports.

So what does this mean? It means that someday soon, Disney might not be the festering boil of the animation industry. They can’t make a good animated feature to save their lives these days. If it weren’t for Pixar, Disney would be nowhere today. Their only saving grace over the last 11 years has been the fact that they’ve been lucky enough to attach their name to all the great movies that have been made by Pixar, entirely separate of Disney’s poison factory animation studios.

The part of me that loves Pixar is hesitant to see Disney swallow them up, but if it involves giving Steve Jobs any sort of control, I think it might work out for the best. If you appreciate quality animated features, meaning stuff that actually looks good (not this crap) and has a real plot and real characters, you’d do well to keep your fingers crossed.

Stay and watch, or don’t

#1 Single

E!, Sundays @ 10 p.m.

Singer-songwriter Lisa Loeb needs a man and needs one fast, so she's enlisted a camera crew to help her find one.

Why, out of all of the mid-season replacement shows, am I reviewing “#1 Single”? Because it was on last night and nothing else was. And because Heather’s Graham’s new sitcom got canceled before I even had a chance to pick up the remote.

Nobody would have predicted Lisa Loeb to be a reality TV star since she hasn’t been relevant since her hit single “Stay” was released in 1994. (1994?!? Holy shit I’m old) But what the fuck, Hulk Hogan has his own show, right brother?

Loeb’s been out of the public eye for a while, even though she continued to crank out albums about love and breaking up and stuff. But now that she’s back, it seems like she never left. Lisa’s still wearing those black-rim glasses that make her look like a Starbucks barista. But I have to give her props for wearing them long before it was trendy and sticking with them. Continues after the jump »

The most amazing ‘Futurama’ news ever

You’re sitting down, right? Good, I figured as much.

Futurama lives.

You heard me right. There will be new ‘Futurama’.

This is straight from the keyboard of none other than Philip J. Fry himself, Billy West.

HERE’S GREAT NEWS!
Here’s the official word on Futurama!!
David X. phoned me about an hour ago and said that this Futurama project
is a done deal! Here’s the word from DX—-
There are 4 DVD movies that we’ll start recording at the end of July or
August.Full feature length FUTURAMA movies.
Everybody is excited to get back together—as I am!

Into the Future,
Billy

West posted that Thursday afternoon on his official forum, so it’s about as official as it can get until you hear something from David X. Cohen or Matt Groening.

What’s my take?

This is as awesome as awesome can get. Yes, I’d like the series back on TV, but this doesn’t put that out of the question by any means.

‘That 70s Show’ is history; ‘Malcolm’ at its end

File this one under not-totally-unexpected, but the “That ’70s Show” will be history come May. Fox is cancelling the sitcom, along with “Malcolm in the Middle.”

“That ’70s Show” is never terrible, but the show sort of fell apart once Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher left. God, that sounds bizarre. It’ll have a long life in syndication, so fans of the show have that going for them. “Malcolm” doesn’t do too bad for itself in syndication either, but Frankie Muniz just ain’t the cute little kid he was in 1999. It’s good to see the show ending before they jump the—er, get desperate, and add a new kid. Oh wait, nevermind.

Meanwhile, there’s some new news on the “Arrested Development” front. The news is “don’t get your hopes up.”

Futurama and more after the jump! Continues after the jump »

‘7th Heaven’ is still on?

I’m proud to say I have never watched the WB’s “7th Heaven.” But a lot of you have been, or did at one point, because it’s been the network’s biggest hit during its (holy shit!) 10-year run. That includes putting the wholesome smackdown to “Dawson’s Creek,” “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” and other teen dramas with insanely unrealistic dialogue.

Well, I hate to break it to ya, but the show is being canceled due to escalating production costs. The WB is losing $16 million this year because of the show. Featuring Ashlee Simpson as a cast member would have been enough for me to give it the axe. Continues after the jump »

TV hosts make the news

First, Stephen Colbert of the Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report” coined the word “truthiness,” which ended up being the American Dialect Society’s word of the year for 2005. The AP tried to ignore the role the fake TV newsman played in inventing the word and Michael Adams of NC State claimed that “truthiness” was already a word, but Colbert fought back by putting the AP in the top spot of his “Threat Down” and putting Adams “on notice.”

Now comes word that NBC late night talk show host Conan O’Brien could help elect the president over in Finland.

O’Brien has thrown his support behind Finland president Tarja Halonen (pictured) ever since noticing she’s an exact clone of him, except for the male-female thing. Continues after the jump »

Chappelle to stand up and deliver

Dave Chappelle will hit TV before clips from the infamous third season of “Chappelle’s Show” will, according to EURWEB.com.

Comedy Central is set to air a stand-up special featuring everyone’s favorite AWOL comedian that will run later this month.

The comedian, who walked away from his record-setting Comedy Central deal and successful television show almost a year ago, will return to Comedy Central on January 29th with brand new stand-up material, which hits on such topics as a black Santa Claus delivering presents on CPT, landlords using rent money to fund drug habits and sex as an Olympic sport.

It’s a good thing he backed away from his show before the jokes became too stereotypical and detrimental to his race. Continues after the jump »

Abuse of white power

And you all thought that skit from the first season of “Chappelle’s Show” about a white black supremicist was for comical purposes. Turns out it was a history lesson.

The Deseret Morning News explains.

About 25 years ago, Ron Stallworth was asked to lead the Ku Klux Klan chapter in Colorado Springs.

Problem was, the outgoing Klan leader didn’t know that Stallworth is black.

“He asked me to take over the lead because I was a good, loyal Klansman,” said Stallworth, who had been in constant phone contact with the Klan leader while leading a yearlong Colorado Springs police investigation into the Klan.

They never had a Ku.

Stallworth, who oddly enough lives in Utah now, still carries his Klan membership card, which is signed by David Duke. What would that fetch on eBay?

If I’m Stallworth, besides doing up the eBay thing, I’m suing the balls off Chappelle for stealing my story. Balls or whatever cash Chappelle has left.

Everything you never wanted to know about Alicia

Alicia Keys is one of those artists who wins gazillions of awards, gets her songs played a hundred times a day on pop radio, and yet I don’t think I know anybody who actually listens to her music in any other context. Well since you’re probably not actively listening to her, the powers that be have decided that you need to be fed more Keys.

The coming-of-age story will follow a girl from a biracial family. Keys, 24, was born to a white mother and a black father, who split up when she was two. She was raised in the gritty Hell’s Kitchen area of New York by her mother, started learning classical piano at six, and frequently ventured up to Harlem to absorb the lifestyle.

The story of a girl from a biracial family growing up in the gritty Hell’s Kitchen rapidly gentrifying Clinton neighborhood of New York sounds like it might be interesting, but why Alicia Keys? I hate the say it, but who the hell cares? Why take a half decent premise for a show and ruin it by attaching a non-compelling celebrity name to it that can only serve to limit the scope of the series?

For more fun with Alicia Keys, check out the Wikipedia discussion on her entry there. It makes me wonder if the show planned for UPN will cover her actual life, or the more interesting life that she/her publicist/her label have concocted for her.

One more celebrity gets ‘real’

Reality TV just keeps getting better and better — I think. It’s really hard to say what’s better and what’s worse. It’s hard to even say who qualifies for “washed up celebrity” status these days.

You can add Gene Simmons to the list of famous people willing to put his life on display.

= “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” featuring Simmons; his partner, Shannon Tweed, a former Playmate of the Year, actress and model; and their kids, Nick and Sophie. Dubuc described the kids as “articulate, funny and bright,” which contrasts with their “wild and crazy” parents. This project follows a one-hour special on Simmons that aired under the “Biography” banner.

Simmons, who is married to the aging, often-naked and sort-of-famous Shannon Tweed, joins the ranks of Nick and Jessica, Reverend Run, Britney and Kevin, Paris and Nicole, the Osbornes and about a thousand other quasi-celebrities who have decided that they’d rather act like asses at home than just perform, like famous people used to do.

I have a feeling that 10 years from now, the music, television and movie studios will have perfected the science of creating new hit singles, TV pilots or teen movies so the latest faces can get their first 14 minutes in, and then quickly shuffle them over to UPN and the WB so they can ride out the remainder of their 15 minutes of fame.

Get ready for “Crap Filter: Unfiltered” coming this fall on Fox.

LOST, New Episode, Wednesday, January 11- “The 23rd Psalm”

Welcome back, Lost lovers. Tonight, we get two full hours of Lost material. The first hour, titled “Lost: Revelation” will recap everything we already know about both groups of survivors, but will put it in perspective by lining the events up chronologically so that we can see the unwitting intersection of the tailies and the survivors from the fuselage.

Before we get to the brand new episode, let’s refresh our memories on what happened on the last episode, way back in November.
Continues after the jump »

J Lo’s new TV show opens to… reviews

Here are some reviews of “South Beach,” a new UPN drama produced by Jennifer Lopez (I’m sure she worked hard on this and didn’t just slap her name on it) set to premiere tonight at 8 p.m. EST.

USA Today:

Tawdry, empty and inept, South Beach is UPN’s too-late-in-the-game attempt to transfer The O.C. to the other coast. It’s the kind of new UPN show that used to make viewers dread new UPN shows, back in the days before Veronica Mars, Everybody Hates Chris and America’s Next Top Model helped the network turn the critical corner.

Continues after the jump »

Let me tell you what just happened

As ESPN’s Sunday Night Football Era comes to an end, so does the broadcast team of Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire. Thank the Gods. This team has been tormenting us for years. Last week, during their last Sunday night game, they kept thanking each other for the years of working together, etc. Nobel thoughts, if they were a good broadcast team. Patrick is a competent play-by-play man, with a decent voice. But the other two (both former players) are just annoying. They kept coming back to Maguire’s “famous” line of “You know, of all the people that I’ve worked with, you’re one of them.” That was the most insightful thing said all night.

Phil Mushnik of the New York Post has a nice piece on the trio’s latest blockhead antics, as they observed the ejection of on Sean Taylor from the Redskins/Bucs game on Saturday. I watched this game, and Mushnik is right on the money. There was even a drinking game for this team, presumably to make the game watchable.

Now if we could get John Madden out of the booth, we’d be all set.

A fish called Will

I hate to say it, but you people brought this upon yourselves. By “you people” I mean those of you who decided that mixing Superman with Dawson’s Creek would be a good idea. Well you reap what you sow. And you’ve got another prime time superhero. I present to you your new Aquaman:

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Newcomer Will Toale, who appeared in the recent Broadway revival of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” will play the title character in “Aquaman,” the WB Network’s drama project based on the DC Comics character.

“Aquaman,” from “Smallville” executive producers-showrunners Miles Millar and Alfred Gough, is described as a contemporary reinterpretation of the character who lives in the deep sea and enlists oceanic creatures to help him in his crime-fighting endeavors.

Continues after the jump »

Worm has turned up in England

So this is going to be Dennis Rodman’s career after basketball: reality TV star. I know I know, a pretty original and adventurous route. Before you know it, he’ll be getting into fights with Omarosa and “hooking up” with Trishelle.

I already knew that Rodman is slated to be in “Pros vs. Joes,” an upcoming Spike TV reality show that is pretty self-explanatory. Now comes news that the former rebounding machine and one-time aspiring bride is on “Celebrity Big Brother” over in the U.K.

Here’s his highlighted quote from his bio page.

“Three weeks without having sex. That’s gonna really suck.”

And now we know he’s talking about doing it with a girl because on Day 2 of the show he confirmed to a housemate that he was ‘straight as fuck.’

Outside of Traci Bingham, any help you could offer in figuring out who the other housemates are would be welcome. It’s scary enough that I know who Traci Bingham is.

Cowbell Status update

As previously reported by the always cuddly Mark Bodenrader, “Lazy Sunday” is aspiring to “cowbell” status. But there’s a bump in the road. Last night/this morning on ESPN’s Sportscenter, Scott Van Pelt used a quote from the popular SNL sketch. While showing a highlight from the Michigan State/Illinois basketball game, Van Pelt said that Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious.

Sadly, this sketch is exploding way too fast. I love the sketch, but something doesn’t reach cult status unless it simmers under the radar a little, and gains popularity in the youth/subculture. At this rate, it’s going to be like the Simpsons episode where Bart becomes famous for saying “I didn’t do it.” Let’s hope the Lonely Island Boys continue to be as funny as I think they are. I don’t want a one-hit wonder to burn them out.

NBC showing their anti-Christian bias yet again

Leave it to those fucking fucks at NBC to show us how much they’re out to destroy Christianity [insert drawn-out sign here]….again. What is it this time, you ask? NBC Nightly Satanism? Must-Burn-Cross Thursday? Nope, this time it’s far worse. This time it’s “The Book of Daniel,” an insidious show that makes Jesus out to be a gay-lovin’ sin-forgivin’ “namby-pamby frat-boy-guru.

For fuck’s sake, NBC, why can’t you just leave the good Christians of this country the fuck alone? What’s with the fucking war on Christians anyway? Why do you hate Christians, NBC? Why the fuck are you trying to destroy Christianity, you fuckers?

This is fun. Anyway, let’s see what else our good buddies at Focus on the Family have to say about this little piece of prime-time perversion. Continues after the jump »

Letterman takes on O’Reilly

Fox News host Bill O’Reilly was put into the no-spin zone in his recent visit to “The Late Show With David Letterman,” as a seemingly fed-up Letterman decided to take O’Reilly to task on his views on Iraq and Cindy Sheehan, and his questionable journalism.

(You can watch video of the interview here and read the transcript here.)

O’Reilly has been on Letterman’s show numerous times before, but Letterman has never attacked O’Reilly with the ferocity with which he did during this most recent encounter. Continues after the jump »

The second coming of ‘Futurama’

Sweet zombie Jesus! Could it be for real? Yet again, another tidbit of information about the possible resurrection of “Futurama” finds its way to us. This time, it looks like talks are actually happening (endure a brief flash ad for the article).

It’s not all in the clear, however:

Before “Futurama” comes back into being, however, 20th first must secure deals with the show’s production team, as well as voice stars including Billy West (Fry), Katey Sagal (Leela) and John DiMaggio (Bender).

That’s probably the biggest hurdle to get over. Billy West and John DiMaggio are fairly important voice actors. If they’re busy, that could be the end of this ride. And that’s not to mention the huge production costs for each episode. For me, at least, a big part of the appeal of “Futurama” is that it’s easily the best looking American animated series ever produced, and I’d hate to see the quality of the animation suffer in order for the producers to save a buck.

I’m getting hopeful, but I’m still not convinced.

Nike sells sneakers?

The greatest thing about TiVo? Probably that you can skip over the ads. I used to be able to stomach them, but they just don’t make any sense anymore. I find it odd that in an industry where your key purpose is just to get your name across that these 30-second spots on TV are all so post-modern.

It all started with the absurd attempts at creativity that were being thrown around during Super Bowls, which reached ridiculous levels of abstraction during the dot-com era (Remember the cowboys rounding up cats? Now, do you remember the company?). Now those once-a-year spectacles have infiltrated the normal rotation.

Seth Stevenson of Slate.com agrees with me. He’s perplexed by the new LeBron James ad campaign — The LeBrons — by Nike. Continues after the jump »

Kill career

This Thursday, Quentin Tarantino will appear on “The Tyra Banks Show,” or “Tyra” as those of us on the inside know it. That would have been fine and all (not really) since he’s promoting his new project, the horror flick “Hostel,” which he produced. But he apparently makes a startling admission on the show, according to Jeannette Walls’ gossip column on MSNBC.com.

The edgy “Kill Bill” director was a guest on the former model’s talk show, which airs on Thursday, when he confessed that he’s “hooked” on her talk fest.

After Banks gushed to Tarantino that she’s a fan of his, Tarantino replied, “Thank you so much. Well I actually feel the same way because I watch your show every day.” He continued: “I kinda got hooked on the show … I see the Tyra show at 10 [a.m. in L.A.], and then … there’s the other one at five [p.m.].”

What a freak. I only watch it like once a day.

The show will also feature an America’s Top Foot Model competition (a spoof on Tyra’s other show — “America’s Next Top Model”) which Tarantino, who has a raging foot fetish (see Uma Thurman in his movies), will judge.

There’s also a nice tidbit in the same gossip column about Gwyneth Paltrow being convinced that her London home is haunted.

Time to cop a plea for ‘Lost’ ladies

We’ve been sort of lacking in the “Lost” news department lately, what with the show being on one of its ridiculously long hiatuses and all. Danielle won’t be checking in with her preview until next week, but just because the show has taken a break, that doesn’t mean the drama has.

In today’s news, it looks like Cynthia Watros plans to take the quitter’s way out and plead guilty to her Dec. 1 drunken driving charge, which kind of brings an uneventful end to her tale. I expected more out of Michelle Rodriguez somehow, and I wasn’t let down.

Rodriguez, whose post-arrest theatrics rivaled her best onscreen work (“I don’t f—king belong here! Why don’t you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You’ve already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too,” she was quoted in the police report), is a different story. Her lawyer, Steve Barta, entered a not guilty plea and her trial was set for March 30.

In true “Lost” fashion, our girl Michelle has decided to stretch this plot way too thin and drag this story out a few more months by pleading not guilty.

I’m no expert on these things, but unless you’re really, really not guilty, it’s probably best to add one more role to your drunken driving resume, get a driver to cart you around, and hit the bottle even harder next time.

More of a public favorite now

Flavor Flav’s third VH-1 show is set to premiere tonight. That’s right, his third. First he appeared on “The Surreal Life 3,” then came “Strange Love,” and now he’s set to star in “Flavor of Love.”

VH-1 explains the premise of the show, which is set to kick off tonight at 10 EST:

After his failed romance with Brigitte Nielsen, Flavor Flav is ready for a new and true romance. In “Flavor of Love,” 20 single women from all walks of life, selected for their expressed love for Flav, will move into a “phat crib” in Los Angeles and vie for his affection. With help and advice from Big Rick, Flav’s gigantic body-guard and chauffeur, Flavor Flav will date all of the women, weed out the ones who are only after his fame and fortune…and in the end will choose his one true love.

So not only is VH-1 trotting out a hackneyed celebrity in their “Celebreality” tradition, but the channel is also throwing him into a totally tired dating show, ala “The Bachelor.”

So you might have noticed that Flavor Flav has decided to take a somewhat different route than his former Public Enemy bandmate Chuck D, who hosts his own show on Air America Radio, launched a Web site called Rapstation.com to further hip hop music, started his own record label — SlamJamz. He also writes, does public speaking and is politically active.

But yeah, I’ll probably check out “Flavor of Love,” boooyyyyyyy.

Speaking of torture…

Did anybody catch ABC’s “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” last night? If not, then good for you. The party I was at put it on for the ball drop, and let me tell you, it was painful to watch.

I honestly don’t understand why they decided to bring the guy in this year. His voice was horrible and creepy and sometimes he didn’t even make sense.

I mean, I understand he’s sort of this institution that is popular with a certain segment of America and he likely pushed to be on this year, but all he ended up doing is making the audience really uncomfortable. Viewers were left worrying about his state, which took their attention away from blissfully ringing in the new year.

But enough about Ryan Seacrest, the Dick Clark moments were pretty awkward too.

That’s some weird science

I’ve never gotten into the whole “Celebrity Fit Club” thing over on VH-1, mainly because it seems like a last gasp for fame for people like the Snapple Lady. It also seems like a way for pathetic losers to make themselves feel better by taking pleasure in the misfortune of C-list celebrities.

But I might have to tune in this time around. That’s because Kelly LeBrock, a ravishing sex symbol from the 80’s and respectable hottie later in Steven Segal films, is gigantic now (ok, 175 lbs., they claim). Continues after the jump »

Another ‘Lazy’ day

You-know-what made an appearance on CNN this morning. That’s right, the “Lazy Sunday” skit from “Saturday Night Live” which is catching immense fame on the Internet, so much so that the New York Times, New York Daily News and Village Voice all felt the need to write articles about the faux rap and its breakout star — Andy Samberg.

Peep this from the Times:

“I’ve been recognized more times since the Saturday it aired than since I started on the show,” said Mr. Samberg, 27, a featured player in his first season on “SNL.” “It definitely felt like something changed overnight.”

The Times article goes into the history of the skit, as well as the background of Samberg and his two comedy-writing friends, all of whom now work for “SNL” (Samberg as a featured player, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone as writers). The threesome produced many similar shorts for their Web site — LonelyIsland.com — which created a buzz on the Internet and caught the eye of “SNL” talent scouts. The rest is history, and perhaps a new direction for the stale “SNL.”

If you haven’t gotten over there already, I highly recommend viewing the material on LonelyIsland.com, which includes a pilot for a Fox TV series titled “Awesometown.” Despite a sweet introduction by Jack Black as George Washington, “Awesometown” feels a bit amateurish and you can see why it wasn’t picked up. But the musical videos on the site — most notably “Just 2 Guyz” and “Ka-Blamo!” — are hilarious. There’s no doubt this is where their talent lies.

Festivus for some of us

A group of people in Erie, Pa., is taking pop culture a little too seriously, as it has gone to the trouble of celebrating the holiday Festivus, which was made famous on the 90’s hit sitcom “Seinfeld.” This AP story has more:

Residents were preparing to celebrate “the festivus for the rest of us” Friday with a night of airing grievances, feats of strength and, of course, the aluminum Festivus pole.

“It’s all in good fun,” said Jeff Boam, 36, a math teacher from Millcreek Township and longtime “Seinfeld” fan.

“More than anything else, it’s a great excuse to get together with friends and have outrageous fun,” said George Klapsinos, 38, a senior technical service specialist for Lord Corp.

Continues after the jump »

Everybody hates Santa

Viewers of the UPN hit “Everybody Hates Chris,” a show inspired by the childhood of brilliant comedian/bad actor Chris Rock, were shocked to find out in a recent episode that Santa Claus actually doesn’t exist.

“Everybody knows there’s no Santa Claus,” Drew said to Tonya on the UPN sitcom. “Come here, let me show you something. I’m taking you to the toys … Santa doesn’t come down the chimney. We don’t even have a chimney. We have radiators.”

Later on the show the Easter bunny and tooth fairy were also exposed as elaborate hoaxes.

Thankfully, the show is on UPN, so only like six kids were watching at the time, and I’m pretty sure they were all Jewish anyway.

Totally ‘Lost’ on this one

Count me as one of those that totally missed the “Lost” boat (or plane I guess is more fitting). I tried to watch the first season and got bored of it by the third episode. As my brother says, throw a little mysticism into anything and all of the sudden people get all giddy. All I saw with “Lost” is a show pandering to the sci-fi crowd and suffering the most common problem of TV dramas — stretching out plots way too long (and thin) to keep people watching.

However, I understand the show reached phenomenon status in 2005, so I’m not totally distraught that Entertainment Weekly named the cast of the ABC hit as the Entertainers of the Year. Michelle Rodriguez herself was pretty entertaining in ‘05. Continues after the jump »

Satanic Christmas Party

Originally debuting on Wednesday December 15, 2004, last night Comedy Central aired the “Woodland Critter Christmas” episode of South Park. If you haven’t seen it, you need to hit up BitTorrent and get it, NOW.

Basic plot line: Stan is visited by cute fuzzy creatures who convince him to kill a mountain lion that is going to eat their savior on Christmas morning. He does, and soon thereafter finds out that their savior is the Anti-Christ. Stan then must save the world, with some help from mountain lion cubs and Santa. Continues after the jump »

‘Desperate’ actor got a bad rap

Do you remember reading or hearing about that guy that got fired from “Desperate Housewives” for reportedly flashing some of the crew members?

Well, Page Kennedy, who played someone being held captive in a basement on the show (bravo again, network TV), is fighting back… through the power of rap. That’s right, following in the trashy footsteps of Kevin Federline, Kennedy has released his own rap song on his Web site to clear his name.

I won’t tell you whether the song is good or not. I’ll just leave you with one of his lines:

“The media seems to stick together like fat guys and super-sized fries.”

The protest song is back!

Half-baked theory?

Was Comedy Central’s “Chappelle’s Show” put to an abrupt halt by a group of notable and powerful African-Americans?

Is the sky blue?

Actually, this is likely all bogus, but this link to The Chappelle Theory sent to me by my boy Chris is definitely worth a read (albeit a long one). It claims members of “The Dark Crusaders” were unhappy with Chappelle’s portrayal of the black race in his show and used their influenced in order to get his pop culture smash to halt production before a third season could come to fruition.

Here are the members of the “Crusaders,” according to the site, which you might expect is run anonymously:

Al Sharpton
Jesse Jackson
Louis Farrakhan
Bill Cosby Continues after the jump »

‘Futurama’ to resume production… tomorrow?

Well I would have said that Zombie Jesus returning to wreak havoc among the populace would have been more likely, but the creators of “Futurama” think they’re poised to make a comeback.

The Sydney Morning Herald ran a story last week, and in an interview, writer David X. Cohen says he’s optimistic that they’ll be back.

“Three months ago, I would have said we were going to start tomorrow,” says writer David X. Cohen, who collaborated with Groening on Futurama. “And one month ago I would also have said we were going to start tomorrow. So …” He pauses. “My current estimate is that we’re starting tomorrow.”

Hey, that doesn’t sound too bad. It doesn’t exactly mean anything either. And what about the “Futurama” movie that people on IMDb seem to think is happening?

All Matt Groening has to say in the article is “you never know.” That’s not something I’d bet the space farm on.

Fox never gave a rat’s ass about “Futurama,” and I don’t expect them to start caring now. They’ve got mindless tripe like “The War at Home” to fill the timeslot that rightfully belongs to “Futurama.”

The story mentions a possible direct-to-DVD movie or theatrical release, but it’ll take a lot to get that to work. “Futurama” has a lot of really rabid fans out there, but direct-to-DVD won’t sell to anybody but the fans, and even a movie is a shaky proposition without the series being aired on Fox.

In the meantime, I’m not holding my breath.

Is ‘Lazy Sunday’ the new ‘Cowbell’?

Only three days removed from its airing, “Lazy Sunday,” the digital short by Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell from this past weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live,” has already reached cult status.

In reviewing the show for CF I no doubt noticed that the gangsta rap about going to see “The Chronicles of Narnia” was the strongest skit of the night, but I didn’t think it would generate as much feedback as it has. Nor did I expect to see a link to the clip highlighted on the home page of NBC’s Web site with this description:

You asked for it… you got it. Here’s the Chronic(what?)cles of Narnia!

The “More Cowbell” sketch from a few years back took some time to evolve into the cultural phenomenon it became. Wired magazine even provided a timeline of its meteoric rise.

I just hope the suits at NBC don’t ruin “Lazy Sunday” by over-airing it and over-hyping it. Leave that to us.

Snack-attack muthafucker!!!!

‘Office’ wars

For some reason I had the urge to watch “The Office: Special” DVD the other day. Probably because Christmas is on the horizon and it’s one of my comfort DVDs — a good watch whenever I’m bored.

It’s flawless. The special, and the series. I’ve claimed ever since completing the first season that the British phenomenon was the second best thing to ever hit TV, behind only “The Simpsons.” It’s the perfect mix of drama and comedy.

The last episode I watched of the American version coincidentally was also its “Christmas show.” So it hit me it was time to compare the two. Continues after the jump »

In true TV tradition

In watching some horrendously boring NFL games on Fox this weekend I had the misfortune of seeing ads for “Skating With Celebrities.”

Don’t assume off the bat that this show is a rip-off of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” which is also set to start up in January after a very successful first season. One has dancing, and the other has skating. One has stars, the other has celebrities. HUGE differences.

Well, I guess they’re even now after “Lost” copied “X-Files”… which copied “Twin Peaks.” Actually, I’m pretty sure they’ve stolen each other’s ideas a hundred times over now. It’s par for the course for network TV. Continues after the jump »

Siskel and Ebert: A couple of movie reviewin’ assholes

One of the things that we pride ourselves on here at The Filter (a new name I just coined), is that we’re all really swell guys and gals. Never once has Mark or Vin, or anybody for that matter, stood over my shoulder and tried to psych me out as I write about some celebrity’s misfortune. Siskel and Ebert didn’t have such luxuries.

Enjoy, because there’s not much else going on today.

Jack Black hosts ‘SNL’

I realize I’m the guy on here who attacks the moribund “Saturday Night Live” any chance I can get, yet I can’t stop writing about the show. But I just had to contradict myself one more time because comedic genius Jack Black, who’s currently starring in the larger-than-life “King King,” is set to host the show tonight.

Black has hosted the show twice in the past with hilarious results. His first time around was probably the best because it featured the skits “The Bass-Off” and the “Happy Birthday Song.” The former especially sticks in my mind because it featured Black and Will Ferrell engaged in a battle of 80s-style bass guitarists. Sadly, I’m pretty sure the sketch has been dropped in the shortened rerun version of the episode that airs on E!

Here’s hoping tonight’s show will also be kick-ass!

Oh, and the musical guest is Neil Young. Continues after the jump »

Bitter man leaves for biased network

Everyone’s favorite grizzled political analyst is leaving CNN and heading over to Fox News Channel to give the station a much-needed conservative voice. That’s right, Robert Novak, famous for name-dropping CIA operative Valerie Plame in his Chicago Sun-Times column a while back, will end his 25-year run with the station when his contract expires December 31. His new tenure with Republican News begins in January.

Novak’s separation from CNN was supposedly mutual, but anyone who saw him throw a hissy fit on air a few months back knows there’s no chance this is the case. The Hollywood Reporter has more:

[Novak] had been off the air since early August, when he walked off a CNN set during a live interview after uttering an obscenity. He served a suspension and apologized but never returned to CNN.

Of course, I have provided a link to the video if you haven’t seen it already.

Novak, who will turn 75 in February, has also seen two shows on which he was a prominent fixture — “Crossfire” and “Capital Gang” — be canceled, so that didn’t help matters.

Borat has a posse

Borat, everybody’s favorite fictional Kazakh reporter played by Sacha Baron Cohen on “Da Ali G Show” has gotten an unlikely ally. International watchdog group Reporters Without Borders is calling for Kazakhstan to chill out and stop harshing Borat’s fictional mellow for his use of a .kz domain to embarass the proud nation (home to cleanest prostitutes in whole of central Asia).

That move led the Paris-based Reporters Without Borders to issue a statement Wednesday saying that the government’s decision to block Cohen from a “.kz” domain name is censorship. The group also expressed concern about “the politicization of the administration of domain names.”

Cohen’s Borat Sagdiyev has upset the Kazakhstan government with comedic statements suggesting that Kazakhs make wine out of fermented horse urine, shoot dogs for fun and consider incest and rape popular hobbies.

Apparently their distaste for borders goes so far as to include fiction. It’s nice to see real reporters sticking up for a fictional one. They do know he’s not real, right? It would be delicious if they didn’t, but it’s nice to see that they’ve got his back either way..

Titans of comedy clash

Trouble’s a-brewin’ in South Park. Peter and Bobby Farrelly, the brains behind such comedies as “There’s Something About Mary,” “Dumb and Dumber,” “Kingpin” and others say that a 2004 episode of “South Park” in which Cartman pretends to be mentally retarded to get into the Special Olympics is a ripoff of their upcoming movie, “The Ringer.”

“When you think of a premise so radical it’s unmakable, you hang in for seven years to see it through, it is a shock to the system to have people on Websites saying, ‘You hack, you stole this from South Park,’ ” Blitt tells Variety. “I set this up so long before that episode was conceived. It is bad enough to have your idea taken: It’s 1,000 times worse when you are then accused of stealing.”

Damn, them’s fightin’ words. I don’t know what they hope to achieve. There’s probably no way to prove it was stolen, and calling out Trey Parker and Matt Stone is only going to cause them to respond, most likely with an episode where a couple of angry movie directors come to town and steal Cartman’s idea for a movie, and then hilarity and an abrupt ending ensue.

I’m sort of torn on who to believe here. Not having seen “The Ringer” yet, I’m suspicious as to how similar the plots really are. You could probably easily peg this as a cry for publicity from the Farrellys, but I don’t think they’d sink to that, nor do I think they’d make the claim unless it was really, really warranted. At any rate, I’m more interested to see the movie now.

‘Lost’ mistake found

Ah, those mistakes we all made before we became famous TV stars. Well, I guess, those mistakes famous TV stars made before they became famous TV stars.

It appears during her more desperate acting days “Lost” star Evangeline Lilly filmed some sweet ads for a dating chatline called Livelinks… not that I discovered this by watching TV at 2 a.m. some weekend or anything. I swear. I ran across this information over on SFgate.com.

“Lost” beauty Evangeline Lilly’s past has come back to haunt her, as commercials she filmed for a dating chat line three years ago are being revived on TV.

The sexy actress, currently romantically linked to her TV show co-star Dominic Monaghan, appeared as the spokeswoman for Livelinks in 2002 before finding worldwide fame with the hit TV show.

But since her show, which features a cast of individuals stranded after a plane crash, has proved popular with international audiences, the “fun” and “flirty” party line has decided to capitalize by continuing to run the ads on late-night TV.

I’m pretty sure this is her all over the Livelinks site as well. There’s even a commercial with Evangeline on the site that you can view.

Pay up, bitch!

Everybody’s favorite spaced out comedian, Dave Chappelle might end up having to pay up for his mystical journey to South Africa if his ex-manager has anything to say about it.

DECEMBER 13—Claiming that Dave Chappelle has stiffed him for at least $864,500, the comedian’s former personal manager has sued the star, opening a window on the performer’s finances and his lucrative Comedy Central deal. In a breach of contract complaint filed yesterday in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, Mustafa Abuelhija claims that he and Chappelle last September entered into a management agreement, though the deal “was never reduced to writing.”

“Never reduced to writing?” Good luck with this one, bud.

Read all about it at The Smoking Gun.

Positive ‘Development’

OK, so maybe the third season of “Arrested Development” hasn’t been the greatest with the Charlize Theron plot line and all, but even when it’s at its worst, the show is still one of the best on TV. Therefore, it’s nice to see some good news thrown the way of “Arrested Development,” which has experienced more threats of cancellation than a elementary school in Buffalo before a snowstorm.

Showtime, a pay station on which you can swear and shit, is now considering picking up the Emmy-winning comedy from creator/executive producer Mitch Hurwitz, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Sources stressed that the talks are still exploratory and that it would be a big financial commitment on Showtime’s part to pick up the show in its current form with a large ensemble cast.

Granted, all these characters are instrumental to the success of the show, but all I really need is G.O.B. doing the chicken dance.

The creative freedom allowed by being on Showtime would no doubt help “Arrested Development” flourish, but it still needs to build up a bigger audience in order to survive. Why is it that everyone I talk to seems to always deem this their favorite show, yet no one is apparently watching it?

Return of cartoon violence?

“The Simpsons” took yet another swipe at “Family Guy” Sunday night, once again insinuating that the main character of the revived Fox show — Peter Griffin — is just a rip-off of Homer Simpson.

Last night’s episode of “The Simpsons” was the latest Sideshow Bob-themed show (an ongoing series that strangely never gets tiresome). The Simpsons find Bob in Italy and eventually alert the Italian police that Bob was a criminal back in the States. The police confirm this by going through a book of American criminals with their offense listed below their photo. Here’s how the progression went:

Snake - “Invasione Di Casa”
Mayor Quimby - “Drinko Drive-O”
Peter - “Plagiarismo”
American Dad - “Plagiarismo di Plagiarismo”
Sideshow Bob - “Omicidio Attentato Multiplo”

The Peter part was funny enough, but to follow it with American Dad — pure genuis. Continues after the jump »

Suicide halts ‘Daily Show’

Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show With Jon Stweart” has shut down production for the rest of the calendar year due to an apparent suicide of one of its staff members, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Bill Clarey, 25, took his own life over the weekend, according to the network. A former “Daily Show” intern, Clarey also worked as a receptionist at the program’s offices.

The show was scheduled to shoot a week’s worth of new episodes before suspending production. Repeats of the program will run instead.

Edward R. who?

Katie Couric needs to be stopped.

As I type she’s angling to become the anchor of “CBS Evening News,” which would mean taking over the spot from the departed Dan Rather and interim crusty newsman Bob Schieffer. And supposedly CBS is also throwing in appearances on the venerable “60 Minutes” as part of its reported $20 million per year offer.

The cast of “Today” recently held a conference call with reporters to celebrate its 520th straight week as the top-rated network morning news show, and of course all anybody wanted to talk about were rumors that Couric was leaving NBC for CBS. This column from Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune details the response from Katie, who did her best to defuse the the rumblings while keeping them alive at the same time:

“In terms of my own future, I know there’s been a great deal of speculation in the press and while I appreciate the interest—kind of—I just thought I’d say off the bat that my contract ends in May and I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do,” she said preemptively.

Continues after the jump »

Dancing with career poison

Sorry, I missed the first season of ABC’s surprise hit “Dancing With The Stars,” but was able to catch commentary on VH-1’s “Best Week Ever,” so I pretty much got the idea of it. But I’m still confused over the appeal of it, as it entails just stars (suspend disbelief for a moment) that are dancing.

And no, I’m not planning to watch the second season, which starts January 5, but I had been waiting with bated breath to find out which C-list celebs would be making fools of themselves on a national scale this time around.

Well, the list is out and here it is:

Tia Carrere - So you’re telling me “Relic Hunter” didn’t work out?

Giselle Fernandez - Huh?

George Hamilton - This might call for an extra coat of fake tan.

Stacy Keibler - I thought elves weren’t real. Continues after the jump »

I’m not too sexy for ‘Project Runway’

Repeat after me: There are no such things are guilty pleasures.

Again: There are no such things are guilty pleasures.

I’m sorry, but you either like something or you don’t, or you sorta like something or you sorta don’t. You should never have to be ashamed either way. Well, unless you’re in high school or something, where it’s imperitive that you put all your time and energy into being cool. How people view you is very important to your survival during that period, so lay off on expressing your fondness for “Gilmore Girls” for a couple years.

Most high school males wouldn’t be able to get away with admitting that they watch “Project Runway,” even if they said something like, “Dude, I watch it for the hot chicks.” But I’m free from all that bullshit now, so I can admit that I am looking forward to tonight’s season premiere of “Project Runway” at 10 p.m. on Bravo without getting a beatin’.

Right? Continues after the jump »

Apple adds more TV shows to iTunes

I love it when the big guys do something good for the little guys. I think that’s what’s happening here, anyway. NBC, Sci-fi, and USA networks, in all their infinite wisdom have realized that people these days are actually willing to pay for content.

In addition to music videos, the iTunes Music Store also features select NBC Universal, SciFi Channel, USA Network, Disney and ABC television shows, ready to download. For $1.99, you can own the latest episode just one day after it airs. With full seasons of “The Office,” “Law and Order,” “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” “Monk” and “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” and more at your fingertips, you’ll never miss your favorites. Plus, you can sync shows to the new iPod and watch them on the go. Just try that with your big-screen TV.

I still can’t decide if downloading TV shows is a good thing or not. On one hand, you can’t beat the convenience. If you miss an episode of Lost, it’s no big deal to lay down $2 and just download it on iTunes. Plus, it’s all ready to go for your video iPod, if you’ve got one. But there’s a flip side. I can get all of these shows and more for free with Bittorrent. Thing about Bittorrent is that it’s slightly harder than just using iTunes, and the videos you do get, while usually HDTV rips and much better quality than iTunes, won’t be iPod ready.

Each has drawbacks, but for my money, you usually can’t beat free. If the one that cost money was clearly better, I’d be more than happy to pay. In the mean time, I’ll stick to Bittorrent when I miss a show, but your mileage may vary.

So long Tyra, Jamie Lee

I’m here to announce the end of two storied eras: The end of Tyra Banks’ modeling career and end of Jamie Lee Curtis’, well, career.

Yup, not only is Tyra appearing in her final runway show tonight as part of “The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show,” which airs on CBS tonight at 10 p.m., but she also claims she’s done with modeling altogether, as this article on Yahoo! Entertainment details.

“It’s my final walk ever! I’ve been modeling since I was 15, and I’m 31 now, so it’s half my life. I’m walking away from modeling in general — I might just be a little emotional.”

So will the public, Tyra, but America will just have to move on. Continues after the jump »

Chappelle to return… kinda

No, Dave Chappelle hasn’t returned from Crazytown yet. He’s still keeping it real, and as a result everything has gone horribly wrong for his career and his fans.

However, “Variety” is reporting that Comedy Central will give “Chappelle’s Show” addicts a much-needed fix by airing some new finished material that was salvaged from the taping of the now infamous Season 3, which was supposed to debut last May before Chappelle went diva on America. The episodes will first run on the Comedy Central’s broadband network, MotherLoad. But for us simple folk, the station will start airing the material sometime next year. Continues after the jump »

Thanks for showing up, ‘SNL’

And it goes on.

The celebrated fat suit made an appearance on “Saturday Night Live” last night, this time of the spoof variety. Not so surprisingly, “SNL” was a couple weeks behind on a trend that, incidently, Crap Filter brought to the attention of the public.

Rachel Dratch, who’s fast reaching “Christ, she’s still on the cast?” territory (ala Darrell Hammond), put on the fat suit in order to make light of the hard-hitting segments by Tyra Banks and Vanessa Minnillo.

In typical neo-“SNL” fashion, tired racial stereoyptes were in full force, albeit ironically. All the black guys Rachel ran into on the street were totally into her oversized booty. Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” came out in 1992, so that should give you a sense of “SNL“‘s comedic progression, or lack thereof.

Hey, hey, hey, it’s fat Al

And here I thought actors jumping over to politics (Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Frist, etc.) was a dangerous trend. Now someone wants to try the reverse.

I’m tellin’ ya, pretty soon you won’t be able to tell the difference between celebrities and politicians. “Nightline” will merge with “Entertainment Tonight” and become “Entertainment Tonightline.” (Maybe this was what “The Simpsons” was trying to get at when they had Homer run for mayor while wearing a salamander suit in a recent episode. We might never know with that one.)

Reverend Al Sharpton wants to be a sitcom star. I wish I was kidding.

Sharpton is in talks with CBS to star in a family sitcom, according to Variety. If that isn’t enough, in a move that should make Norman Lear proud, the show will apparently be called “Al in the Family.” Continues after the jump »

Luscious ‘Lost’ lushes lose licenses

Associated Press is reporting that police in Hawaii nabbed ‘Lost’ actresses Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros on drunken-driving charges.

Michelle Rodriguez, who plays Ana Lucia, and
Cynthia Watros, who portrays Libby, were arrested in separate cars within 15 minutes of each other in Kailua after they were spotted weaving on Pali Highway, which connects Kailua and Honolulu, police said. Both women failed field sobriety tests, they said.

Watros was arrested at 12:05 a.m. and Rodriguez at 12:20 a.m., according to police records.

Lay off the road sodas, kids.

Saint or Sinner?

Scott Stapp was recently invited to co-host Spike TV’s “Casino Cinema”, one of the 10,000 movie shows that plays a movie and break for vignettes that center around some theme, in this case gambling. (I personally prefer TBS’s “Dinner and a Movie”, but that’s probably due to the fact that I am a fat guy and really REALLY like to eat!) Turns out that Mr. “Arms Wide Open” Stapp likes to hit the bottle… and hard.

Maybe rocker Scott Stapp - former front man for the very pious Christian rock band Creed - was possessed by Satan when he showed up for a taping of the Spike TV show “Casino Cinema” on Tuesday afternoon.

According to multiple sources on the set, the 32-year-old Stapp appeared intoxicated when he arrived at the show’s upper East Side studio and proceeded to terrorize hosts Beth Ostrosky and Steve Schirripa, the producers and the crew members alike with his boorish and vulgar antics on- and off-camera.

Continues after the jump »

Please, don’t stop there!

So it looks like Matt LeBlanc’s reign of terror MIGHT be coming to an end. As reported by the AP, “Joey”, the show that made us all search for hemlock, is being (at least for now) removed from the airways.

This hopefully is just the first step. As it says in the article, they are likely going to bring this show back on Tuesdays or something. Please, write your congressman! Write to NBC and tell them no! This show should dissappear forever.

Matt LeBlanc will bear much of the blame, but it is really not his fault. When you have an ensemble cast, choosing who to spin off is tough. The most obvious thing is, DON’T CHOOSE THE DUMBEST MOST ONE-DIMENTIONAL CHARACTER!

Now I’ll admit, when I first heard Frasier was getting his own show, I was like, “What? Norm is funnier!” But I was a little kid, and honestly, can you picture a show just about Norm? What could you do with that character? He could find another bar, I suppose. Then he would drink beer… in a place where no on knew his name? Seriously, the characters to build a show around should be halfway intelligent, so you can have good stories built around them. Multi-dimensional characters always work better than one trick ponies.

So good bye Joey…for now.

Less Oprah, more Uma

Yup it’s been awhile, but Bonnie Raitt will finally make a return appearance to “Late Show with David Letterman” tonight on CBS at 11:35 p.m. ET.

Wait. My bad. I mean Oprah. Oprah Winfrey will be making HER return appearance to “Late Show with David Letterman” tonight. I always get those two mixed up.

As a result, the Earth will stop rotating on its axis for 20 minutes.

It’s been 16 cold years since the two appeared together on a Letterman talk show. Back then, Dave was still on NBC and actually cared about his job, while Oprah was going through the latest fad diet I’m guessing. Continues after the jump »

LOST: Wednesday, November 30

The end of last week’s episode of LOST made me put down my half-eaten chicken wing and gasp. How’s that for an intro?

If you don’t want to know, don’t click below.
Continues after the jump »

Return of the fat suit

You didn’t think Crap Filter was done talking about the fat suit, did you?

Thankfully, Vanessa Minnillo is a little too fond of the fat suit. She’s back in the fake lard (Did she even take it off?) for another segment on “Entertainment Tonight” that will air tonight. This time she’s off to the dreaded nail salon.

“It’s the story I just couldn’t let go of,” says Vanessa. “I’m back in the fat suit and fighting for overweight women all over again!”

I hate to break it to you, Vanessa, but the only people who watch “ET” are fat chicks, and they’re still gonna be called names, laughed at and have their faces punched in by strangers 50 years from now.

Still, we’re assured to have material as long as you keep wearing the fat suit.

I want my MTV and nothing else

This appears like it could be the most awesome thing ever for cable television consumers, like ever. CNN/Money is reporting that the Wall Street Journal (home of evil, only-if-you-pay-for-it content) is reporting that FCC wants to let cable subscribers choose the channels they want.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - The Federal Communications Commission is expected to suggest that cable companies could best serve their customers by allowing them to subscribe to individual channels instead of packages of several stations, the Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday.

The newspaper said that FCC Chairman Kevin Martin is expected to announce Tuesday that the commission will soon revise the conclusion it reached in the report it issued last year on “a la carte” pricing in the cable industry.

Citing an FCC official familiar with the revised report, the Journal said the report will conclude that buying individual channels could be cheaper for consumers than bundles and that themed tiers of channels could be economically feasible.

Halle-fucking-leujah. Continues after the jump »

If by fascinating you mean awful

It’s that time of year when we, the public, get bombarded by meaningless year-end lists and awards. Former Fly Girl Barbara Walters is set to kick it all off tonight at 10 p.m. ET on ABC with her special “The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005.”

Nine of the 10 names have already been revealed, but the identity of THE most fascinating person of 2005 won’t be announced until tonight. If you can’t wait until then, I’m sure you can check your Barbara Walters message boards for spoilers.

Anyway, here’s who we know of so far:

Dakota Fanning - Enjoy it while it lasts, kid, because here comes the Puberty Fairy.
Jamie Foxx - If you look closely you can actually see his head getting bigger.
Condoleezza Rice - Apparently mass murderers are not excluded from consideration.
Teri Hatcher - She’s hot. Continues after the jump »

The Anthony Bourdain experience

Anthony Bourdain:
No Reservations

The unconvential chef/writer shows Rachael Ray how it's done with his food travel program.

Travel Channel, Mondays, 10 p.m. ET/PT

I have no idea why I enjoy food TV shows so much. I never cook and I tend to eat the same things over and over, although I do try to experiment as often as I can.

For a while I was hooked on “$40 A Day”, in which Rachael Ray, who hosts around 57 shows on the Food Network now, travels to different locales and tries to spend $40 or less on meals in one day (if you didn’t figure that out by the title already). It’s a cool idea, but I got sick of it for two reasons: 1. I started seeing repeats and 2. it’s hosted by Rachael Ray. She’s just way too fucking perky. She’s so fucking perky that there’s even a Rachael Ray Sucks Community, which explains its position like this:

Rachael Ray is annoying for many reasons but here are a few: she is repetitive, she talks with her hands way too much, she giggles incessantly, she puts olive oil and chicken stock in everything, she wears really ugly clothing, she talks out of one side of her mouth like she’s had a stroke, she looks like “The Joker” when she smiles, and she can’t stop talking about her family.

That pretty much sums up Rachael. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Continues after the jump »

Lost: Wednesday, November 23

It’s Wednesday again, and it’s time for more discussion about ABC’s LOST. If you don’t want to know, don’t look below.

Continues after the jump »

A brief history of good things gone bad

A great idea came to me in the shower today. It must be the point at which my brain turns on and I begin to process information.

Maybe I had a dream about The Fonz (who doesn’t from time to time), or maybe I’m just still angry about Arrested Development being cancelled, but my daily stroke of genius today was to write an article about what happens when good things go bad.

Happy Days did it; The Flintstones did it; Arrested Development will never really get the chance to do it; but I’m sure that someday, this Web site will.

It’s called Jumping the Shark. And it’s all too common. Continues after the jump »

Global warming can be funny

This might not be enough to rearrange your viewing schedule for Sunday night, but it’ll tempt you.

TBS is airing a special titled “Earth to America!” at 8 p.m. in which a murderers row of comedians will try to convince you that global warming is bad. Continues after the jump »

A case of explosive truth-arrhea

The truth is spreading faster than pterodactyl and bird flu through a Hanoi orphanage! That’s right, Steven Colbert, the man’s man of pundits has declared The Word to be none other than the Sexiest Man Alive, McConaughey. He joins the proud ranks of Yahoo! and CNN as the latest to recognize this high honor.

I can’t say I’m surprised. A man with his finger on the pulse of America like Colbert is aware of these things. He knows what we’re thinking, and he’s always ready to make sure we get our our hands on the important facts that affect our lives truth.

If you missed The Report, no need to worry. When you get to be a successful purveyor of the truth, you’ll get to enjoy extended Thanksgiving vacations as well. You should be able to catch the episode several dozen times over this weekend, next week, and the following weekend, just so you won’t forget who’s sexiest (certainly not Jude Law).

I think he’s saving “Fat Suit” as The Word for some time closer to the holidays.

Fat is the new thin

Not that Crap Filter is entirely about models in fat suits, but we are all about following all the hot trends. And there’s no hotter trend right now than pretending to be fat.

Nearly 35 percent of all Americans will never struggle with being overweight. We owe a debt of gratitude to the models and actresses who dare to don the suits and facial prosthetics to tell a story that might otherwise never be told.

Today on Today, model Rebecca Mader slipped into a fat suit and — get this — found out that being fat isn’t all McGriddles and belly laughs. Turns out that there’s a downside too.

I was shocked to find out that fat people are actually forced to wait 30, possibly 40 minutes for a table at a trendy New York restaurant at lunch time — and all because she was fat and didn’t have reservations. I suffered similar embarassment recently at another popular restaurant. I was forced to sit in a small foyer area with unattractive, morbidly obese people (possibly all models in fat suits) for 45 minutes. Continues after the jump »

The fat suit is ‘in’

It seems Gwyneth Paltrow (“Shallow Hal”) and Mike Myers (Fat Bastard) were way ahead of the curve because this fall season everyone is wearing the fat suit!

In a desperate attempt at a topic for her new talk show, former supermodel and current Oprah Winfrey wannabe Tyra Banks recently put on some artificial layers before going undercover as a 350-lb woman for 15 whole hours.

(Side note: If you’re up for some great comedy, “The Tyra Banks Show” is an absolute flaming plane crash of a program. On it, she’s proved to people that she doesn’t have breast implants, she’s settled her cat fight with fellow model Naomi Campbell and this week she plans to reveal her own “dimpled butt” and receive endermologie treatment on the set.) Continues after the jump »

LOST: Wednesday, November 16

I’ve ready many reviews of last week’s episode of LOST that suggest that people were disappointed in the new episode. I, on the otherhand, was very satisfied with it. I’d even go so far as to say that it has been my favorite episode of the second season thus far.

As always, read no further if you don’t want to know what happened or what’s coming up tonight.
Continues after the jump »

Another nail in the coffin for Arrested Development

There’s apparently just no reasoning with Fox. I’m convinced they’ve been bent on doing away with Arrested Development since the beginning. I don’t know what it is — maybe it just attracts a more sophisticated audience than crap like Stacked and cheap reality TV shows. We just can’t have that, now can we?

Michael Meiser has issued a plea to David Cross and the Arrested Development gang to not give up on the show just because Fox has. He suggests trying to take the show to the Internet, possibly through iTunes. It’s not such a crazy idea, but I have my doubts that it’ll ever happen. Continues after the jump »

‘Seinfeld’ stars to be on ‘Regis and Kelly’

Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards will be taking a break from the whirlwind that has been their post-“Seinfeld” careers to make an appearance together on “Live With Regis and Kelly” next Wednesday, it has been announced.

I couldn’t ask for a better birthday present. Except for maybe an i-Pod.

In case you’re wondering, yes, of course they’ll be trying to sell you something. The foursome will be on the show to promote the release of the Season 5 and 6 DVDs, which are due to come out a day earlier.

Kazakhstan declares war on plot device

Borat just can’t catch a break. He travels all the way from Kazakhstan to learn about Western culture, and his own people thank him with this:

According to Reuters, Kazakhstan’s foreign ministry held a press conference Monday to condemn Cohen’s brand of politically incorrect buffoonery.

“We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone’s political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way,” ministry spokesman Yerzham Ashykbayev told reporters.

Sort of makes me wonder if maybe it’s hitting a little close to home. Continues after the jump »

Now they’ve gone too far

I went along with “Spawn,” looked the other way with “Punisher,” and tried to understand the need for “Fantastic Four.”

But Aquaman?

I’ve always been taught that Aquaman is the red-headed stepchild of the superhero family. Does he even have any super powers, or does he just swim really well? (This reminds me of that sketch from MTV’s “The State” where Superman orders the Super Friends to do certain jobs before telling Aquaman to “go… talk to some fish.”)

Well, the WB wants to milk the superhero thing for all it’s worth it seems because it’s getting ready to shoot a pilot for a possible Aquaman TV series. The network is expected to create a more fallible, modernized version of Aquaman along the lines of Superman in the hit series “Smallville.” Continues after the jump »

A little more on ‘The Boondocks’

It’s been brought to my attention that maybe I was a little too kind to The Boondocks when I reviewed it last week. Looking back, I think that’s probably accurate.

I think it’s fair to say that I reviewed the potential for the show more than I reviewed the actual episode itself. I think the comic strip itself is pretty consistently good, although admittedly, I haven’t read it regularly in quite some time.

That’ll change in two week, but until then, I still live in one of the most ass-backward parts of the country that doesn’t end in -tucky, -bama, -ippi, -ansas … well, you get the idea. Continues after the jump »

An Awesome Blossom would be, well, awesome

I thought it was a little shady a few weeks ago when The Office had an episode that was set mostly in a Chili’s restaurant. Aside from the fact that there is no Chili’s in Scranton, it bugged me a little bit because it seemed like obvious product placement. I didn’t worry too much though. These things happen, even on good TV shows.

I was a little surprised when they did it again last week, and even started dropping the names of menu items left and right. But whatever. I figured it was just for authenticity’s sake. It was obviously paid for, but at least the show was funny.

Chili’s isn’t stopping at The Office, however. It’s becoming more and more obvious that they’re in the process of an all-out barrage of sitcom product placement. Continues after the jump »

Keeping my fingers crossed

It’s probably worth noting that Jason Lee hosts Saturday Night Live, with Foo Fighters as the musical guests tonight.

Even if Jason Lee’s comedic range basically spans only the jerk spectrum, from angry jerk to remorseful jerk, he’s still good at what he does. At it won’t be the host that ruins it this time (Steve Forbes, Michael Jordan, Rudy Giuliani), it’ll be the bad writing and bad cast members.

Update: Zell Miller. Ugh.

Oops pow surprise, he’s gone!

Forget about Dave Chappelle’s disappearance from the national consciousness, what about the Oops Pow Surprise! guy?

I thought he was destined for a William Hung career, only a lot cooler and longer-lasting. More along the lines of Bart Simpson’s “I didn’t do it” run. Perhaps his own rap album, a few appearances on late night talk shows, a square on “Hollywood Squares,” or at the very least a spot in someone’s posse.

But the guy has absolutely vanished, along with the hopes of a once-promising pop culture phenomenon.

I think it’s safe to assume that most of you know what I’m talking about, but just in case some of you don’t, I’ll give you the background. Continues after the jump »

TV is about to get worse — no, really!

This is really yesterday’s news, but I figured it important enough to mention today. And this really goes to show you exactly what we consider to be “important.”

Anyway, it looks like Fox is finally leading their red-headed stepchild, Arrested Development, down to the gallows. I don’t know if it’s the subject matter, which isn’t particularly risqué, or something else, but Fox seems to have had it in for this show from the beginning.

Moving from the greatest time spot on all of television, 8:30 Sunday night, between The Simpsons and Family Guy, is either a kiss of death or graduation of sorts for most shows. The thing is, Fox abuses it. They assume that any show that spends half a season after The Simpsons will automatically succeed no matter where they stick it. Remember Futurama? You probably don’t from when it originally aired. I loved the show, and even I never watched it on Fox. Who had the patience to track it down when they’d air it once every month or show, already in progress because of the NFL game that ran late?

The latest news is that they’re cutting Arrested Development’s run from 22 episodes to 13, and essentially not airing the show anymore. They haven’t “cancelled” it, but let’s not dance around it; this is a cancellation. Variety thinks they’ll air the rest of the shows in December.

Kitchen Confidential is getting the same treatment. I only caught it once, because who the hell has the patience for a show that has month-long breaks between episodes? I don’t think I’ve ever forgotten that the Simpsons is on Sundays at 8p.m. If you asked me when either of these shows were on, I would have had to think about it. Call it what you will, but that’s how people watch TV. When they know what to expect, they’ll tune in. But when they tune in for three weeks in a row, and the show they expected to see isn’t on, eventually they’ll stop checking.

If you think Fox gives a shit what you have to say, there are a number of petitions available for you to waste your time signing.

Say it ain’t so, Larry

Did I just watch that? Did HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” without a doubt one of the most original comedy shows running today, just do a tired Playboy Mansion episode?

Has “Curb” jumped the, er, is “Curb” creatively tapped?

This past Sunday’s “Curb” — “The Smoking Jacket” — was without a doubt the weakest episode of the current season and probably the worst ever (slightly edging out the season 4 finale — “Opening Night”). Larry David and a few of his friends went to the Playboy Mansion — an 80’s-style relic where rock stars like Fred Durst go to die.

Here’s what I’m guessing happened: Hugh Hefner’s people made a call to David’s people, saying that the magazine mogul was a huge fan of the show, and that he would very much like to be in an episode. And David obliged because he figured what other chance will he get to check out the Playboy Mansion. He probably assumed that he could put an ironic twist on it too. Continues after the jump »

How can we sex this up a bit?

Everybody secretly hates the news.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: The only reason people even bother to watch the news is the off chance that something involving cheerleaders having sex in public or pirates might just crawl across the bottom of the screen. The world rejoiced this week when conditions came together to form the perfect storm of pirate and cheerleader non-news.

Here’s a little secret of the news business that they tell you on the day you get your journalism degree: When it comes down to pirates or cheerleaders, go with the pirates. Unless it’s cheerleader pirates, but even a second year journalism student could tell you that.

The works got significantly gummed up this week when the No. 3 news item, sonic death rays, got involved with the pirate story. The No. 1 pirates and No. 3 sonic ray averaged out to a 2, which meant that some poor schlub at Local 6 had to make the difficult choice of sex cheerleaders or sonic pirates. They went with the cheerleaders. Continues after the jump »

LOST: New episode tonight, November 9

Resident female and TV enthusiast Danielle here to share my recap on the last episode ABC’s hit series Lost and my insights into tonight’s brand new episode.

After a torturous three week break, LOST is back tonight and the previews point to serious action. But first, a recap:

If you are not caught up on the most recent episodes, or don’t want me to spill the beans on tonight’s episode, read no further. Continues after the jump »

The last great SNL sketch

I understand it’s not exactly bold nowadays to declare that “Saturday Night Live” is no longer funny. To the contrary, it’s rather common. Well, because I haven’t been involved in one since like the fifth grade, I intend to pig-pile.

Let me catch you up to “SNL” in the post-Will Ferrell era: It blows. In fact, in Ferrell’s last season or two, you could definitely tell the writing was slipping. I blame head writer Tina Fey, mainly because she’s a woman. Face it, Jerry Lewis was right — women just aren’t funny.

Seriously though, the current version of the show wouldn’t be able to survive without sex jokes, racial jokes or gay jokes. For middle school students or Jimmy Kimmel these might be fine, but for what was once regarded as a cutting-edge comedy show, it’s sad.

And don’t even get me started on “SNL“‘s lack of bite when it comes to political humor in times like these. “The Daily Show” basically blew it away in this area years ago, so maybe “SNL” has just accepted defeat.

For me, the show hasn’t produced a funny sketch in two seasons. Continues after the jump »

Beavis and Butt-Head do DVD right

The Mike Judge Collection, Vol. 1

America's two dumbest teenagers return in a collection of episodes hand-picked by Mike Judge.

Check it on Amazon

In March of 1993 I stayed home from school the day “Beavis and Butt-Head” premiered and I have to say that it was one of the best television experiences of my life.

The crude exploits of the two dumbest teenagers to ever exist were a staple of my life — and many other 20-somethings, I’m sure — for the next five years. Their media empire could not be avoided: clothing, CDs, toys, books, a feature film; there were precious few people who didn’t know who these two were. Then, in late 1997, Mike Judge closed the book on the duo, and the media saturation that was once unavoidable had now been shuffled off to the clearance racks of Spencer Gifts nationwide to make way for all the crazy new South Park merchandise the kids were going ga-ga over.

In the ensuing television archival boom that came with DVD, a Beavis and Butt-Head collection seemed like a no-brainer. A show about media-obsessed teenagers that wound up shaping the pop culture landscape itself? Duh. Unfortunately, several behind-the-scenes issues, like Mike Judge being at odds with Viacom and retaining the rights to the massive number of music videos the boys watched have kept us from having a truly definitive collection of episodes — until now. Continues after the jump »

Look out, Republicans, it’s The Boondocks!

The Boondocks

Huey, Riley and Granddad move to a small town. White people live there. Huey says things they find offensive. Funny/controversial stuff ensues.

Sundays @ 11 p.m. on Cartoon Network

In case you’re not familiar with the daily comic strip, or you haven’t seen Adult Swim any time in the last four months, you might not be familiar with The Boondocks.

If you fit into this small segment of society, I’ll fill you in. The Boondocks is a political, yet consistently pretty funny daily strip focusing on the struggles of two black youths in a white man’s world.

With a decidedly lefty slant and no fear of taking on on hot political and cultural topics, the strip has found itself moved off the funny pages and into the editorial section of more than a few newspapers in the U.S. Continues after the jump »

Halloween … already?

Well, it’s the first Sunday in November, so you know what that means: Fox has seen fit to start the new season of the Simpsons!

I could go on and on about how lame it is that the Simpsons season starts in November. And I could rant all day about how dumb it is that we get the Treehouse of Horrors episode a week after Halloween. But really, who cares?

In all honesty, Fox was a bunch of swell sports in September to actually give us a few episodes of The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, and that lame show about the angry dad, slutty daughter, smart and obviously undersexed wife, and probably gay son. I think there might be another son who likes sports. I don’t remember what that show was called, but I do remember that it wasn’t funny, and it gives me a time to get my laundry before Family Guy starts.

I’ve got high hopes for the rest of this season. Last season was surprisingly good, so maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll find that they’re on a roll.

Also, if you’ve never been to The Simpsons Web site, check it out. They’ve got a fun little game where you get to shoot zombie Shakespeare and zombie Flanders with a shotgun.

HUMOR ALERT: ‘The Colbert Report’ is lethal satire

The Colbert Report

Monday - Thursday @ 11:30 p.m. on Comedy Central

It’s not that I think that “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” is getting stale or anything, even though it peaked a few years ago. But I’m ready to declare “The Colbert Report” funnier already.

Maybe it’s because the “The Daily Show” has gotten too damn popular to be hip anymore, and I’m trying to be ahead of the pop culture curve by claiming its demise in the face of “The Colbert Report.”

One thing’s for sure: Stephen Colbert, who hosts “The Colbert Report” after a long run as the straight-faced reporter on “The Daily Show,” is a lot funnier than Jon Stewart, the host of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” There’s a reason why Stewart struggled in show biz before landing his current gig — he’s not very humorous on his own. Sure, give him good writing and a forum to display his above-average intelligence (as far as comics go) and you’ve got a successful formula. But have you ever laughed at his stand-up routines, or his forgettable movies? Continues after the jump »

Ah, so this is why NYC rules

Where I once didn’t have shit to do, all of the sudden I have shit to do.

I just moved from Harrisburg to New York City. (Alright, I moved to Hoboken, New Jersey, but it’s fucking close enough. Check Google maps.)

I won’t bore you with the details of my boredom in Harrisburg, because that’s what moving to NYC/Hoboken is all about — starting afresh with a more positive, more mindless attitude.

Anybody who knows me understands this basically goes against what I’ve become over 27 years. It means shaking some of the sarcasm, the snarkiness, the cynicism, and moroseness that dominate my mind and mouth. (Notice I didn’t say lose completely.) To put it in pop culture terms, I’m throwing out my Nine Inch Nails “Pretty Hate Machine” CD and buying Oasis’ “Definitely Maybe.” I’m not ready for Rush-level cheeriness just yet.

What better place to strap on my new happy face than NYC/Hoboken, the cultural center of the planet. Continues after the jump »